


Death to Immortality!

by Kageka



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Immortality, Reincarnation, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:48:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kageka/pseuds/Kageka
Summary: "WHY, SASUKE!!!"He'd saved so many worlds. So many fictional worlds indistinguishable from reality with health bars and sword magic. Whether this world was saved or destroyed... At this point, it didn't matter. For the sweet embrace of death, the immortal soul dwelling within Uchiha Sasuke's indestructible body was willing to do anything."I'm sorry, Naruto."
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

Maybe one day, she would find all the secrets of the universe. Maybe one day, she would find the path to death. Maybe one day, she would find another person.

Today was not that day. It was never that day.

* * *

She opened her eyes to a big blue sky. Twitching her legs and arms slightly, she could tell she was a child. She lay there, feeling the dirt underneath her body and the sun beating down on her. The sun turned orange and red, eventually fading from the horizon. And still, she lay there, not bothering to stand up or open the menus to do a status check.

_What is the point? What was the point?_

She had fought. Gotten strong. Eradicated all demons on the continent. Reformed two governments. She was hailed as the strongest holy priestess. The hero who had cities and statues and children named in her honour. She'd even allowed herself to fall in love. Formed a brotherhood, had four children and tutored several more. She was a hero that raised heroes.

_What was the point? Does that world even exist now?_

How many times did she have to go through with this?

_I want to love people. I want to care about them again. But…_

She'd used up her capacity to care in the last world. It would be a couple of lifetimes before she could bring herself to feel again. Until then… she would sit about and do whatever was convenient or comfortable.

It was midday when she made the decision to sit up. She was in some kind of training area. She opened the menu for the first time. Her heart sank further and further as she flipped through the menus.

First, this was a narrative-type world. A world where there was a main storyline with main plot points. She knew this because of the titles and biographies given to different characters as found on the encyclopaedia tab. How far the world would bend to fit those plot points varied but judging by the place names and mechanics, this one would bend pretty far.

Second, she was likely the rival, Uchiha Sasuke. The flags were obvious. The main character, Uzumaki Naruto, had so much unlockable story it was separated into multiple chapters and pages and the number of those chapters were so numerous that the numbers were scrollable. From the character page and what she saw from Sasuke's memories, both of their characters also fit nicely into the protagonist and his rival.

Third, her body functioned on video game logic but no one else did. Reading through the world histories, it was clear that the only sentient species were humans and those humans starved, died and were wounded regularly. Despite being up for more than a day and not eating, she did not feel sleepy or hungry. She dug her palms into the dirt and put it in her mouth. Tasteless.

She didn't feel like looking further. She picked up a shuriken nearby and stabbed herself until she died.

Fourth, she was immortal. When she died, she was resurrected. Given that she'd just revived on her bed, she was inclined to believe that she would be resurrected at the place she last slept. No, given that this was a narrative-type world, she may be forced to replay certain sections until a desirable outcome was reached.

Upon realising this, she collapsed back to the ground. She'd just have to go through the motions of this world and complete the main quest. Once the world was saved or whatever it was, she'd likely be allowed to die.

She lost the will to do anything until the sun started to set again. Amid her wallowing despair, she came up with a sound game plan. Her (Sasuke's) clan had just been killed. They would leave her alone for a while. She spent a few days figuring out the mechanics of the system and deciding what to spec into.

The decision was simple. She didn't feel like putting in any effort or doing anything at all. There were 10 stats: Strength (STR), Speed (SPD), Dexterity (DEX), Defence (DEF), Constitution (CON), Intelligence (INT), Wisdom (WIS), Willpower (WIL), Perception (PER) and Charisma (CHA).

Strength could be improved by over-encumbering herself and carrying heavy items. But it improved a lot more when actively training.

Speed required her to sprint. Walking barely did anything.

Dexterity was improved through finer motion control. Many things from cooking to handiwork improved it but throwing objects or playing dexterity games improved it the most.

Defence required she take damage.

Constitution determined total health points (HP) and could be improved by ingesting poisons.

Intelligence was knowledge and could be improved with reading. The Uchiha compound had plenty of books.

Wisdom was improved through analysis of knowledge which just required she sit and think about what she'd read.

Willpower improved through getting hit with genjutsu and determined resistance to mental attacks.

Perception improved through observation. It increased a lot more when she was watching targets actively trying to hide.

Charisma improved through human interaction.

Strength and Speed required effort to make significant strides. Willpower and Charisma required human interaction. She'd care about those when she was in the mood. She'd focus on magic and defence. Magic was great because it could be bent at important times. If the narrative required, it was possible to bend the hit chances and damage range of spells. For physical attacks, she'd rely on DEX-based attacks like projectiles. She would need something in the short-range though.

She went over to the empty Uchiha weapons shop, stabbed herself with a poisoned senbon and bandaged it to her skin while it was still stuck almost all the way through. That would improve her DEF and CON passively. Though with her current health pool, she would have to pull it out every few minutes to let herself regenerate health. DEX could be improved by throwing shuriken at the ground or juggling.

She liked reading so she spent the next 3 days reading before she heard a shout.

"SASUKE-KUN! WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

The Uchiha compound was big and she'd been hopping from house to house looting and reading. She sat on the porch of a house and fired off a jutsu whenever her charka returned. Whoever was checking up on her probably searched the main house and couldn't find her.

After a few more shouts, she decided to get out of the shop she was in and walk towards the voice.

"Sasuke-kun! Are you alright?"

She recognised him as Umino Iruka, one of the academy teachers. "Yes."

"How have you been? Is there anything you need?"

"I've been managing. I will be fine. One day."

"If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask. I will be there for you and so will all the teachers."

"Thank you."

"I've been coming the last few days and you didn't reply so I was worried."

"I've been searching the compound. I haven't been to the main house in a while. If you need to find me, just shout loudly."

Iruka gave a sigh of relief. "I see. Do you… think you can come to school?"

"… When's the next test?" The academy had tests roughly every two-three months.

"It's not been determined yet but it should be next month. Second or third week."

"I will try. To make it for the next test."

Iruka placed his hand on her shoulder. "I will come check up on you occasionally." He reached into his backpack and pulled out a packet. "In here are all the cards and well-wishes your classmates have sent. We told the students you were sick. We're all waiting for you, Sasuke-kun."

She accepted them. "Tell everyone I said thank you."

"…"

"…"

"… You really don't need anything?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Iruka left afterwards and come by every few days with food and homework. Even if she couldn't taste it, the food gave her health and stamina so she ate a bit. Doing the homework gave her INT so she did it.

She gathered the will to walk to the academy on the Wednesday of the second week next month. She was instantly mobbed.

"SASUKE-KUN! Are you alright?"

"We were all so worried about you!"

She answered all the questions with some variation of 'fine', 'okay' and 'thank you'. She spent the class time reading her own book. A few of the teachers had a problem with that while others let her get away with it. Since it was a clan book though, they legally could not confiscate or damage it. Interestingly, she gained some experience in skills when the teachers were teaching about it.

She came for the tests but during taijutsu practice, she remembered an unfortunate side effect of the video game system. When she punched, she executed the ≪Taijutsu: Punch≫ skill and the damage dealt was determined by her STR, SPD, Lv. ≪Taijutsu≫, Lv. ≪Taijutsu: Punch≫ and her opponent's DEF. She had no way of moderating her attacks.

She cracked the ulna of Akimichi Chouji when he blocked her kick with his right arm.

"Sorry," she said. Her apology was lost over his screaming. She did feel bad… she wished she did. But that part of her was drowned out by a blank apathy and sea of… nothingness. She watched him writhe in pain and the little ripple that demanded she fret over him went unheeded.

_I wish I were him. To cry over a broken arm… that would be nice._

* * *

_Time Skip_

It was the day their genin teams would be announced. He sat quietly in the back as always and a few girls argued over who should sit next to him. The moment Sakura entered the fray, Naruto took personal offence and jumped up onto the table in front of him. He managed to swipe his book backwards to prevent Naruto from stepping on it.

Naruto glared at him and leaned forward. Behind, the girls cheered for him to beat up Naruto.

He stared back at Naruto, wondering what he should say. Deciding that anything he said would be twisted into a challenge or insult, he said nothing.

Then Naruto was pushed forward. He moved his hand to push Naruto back but his arm suddenly felt slow and sluggish. Naruto fell forward and their lips met.

There was a short silence amongst the girls and Naruto immediately jumped back and wiped his mouth, gasping in disgust. Sasuke stared at his hand.

_Narrative interference?_

It didn't matter as the girls proceeded to beat up Naruto.

Iruka gave a short speech before announcing the teams. As expected, he was assigned with Naruto and Naruto blew up at the announcement. Sakura was incredibly happy at the prospect of being in the same team as him and busy scolding Naruto. Was she supposed to be the mediator and glue of the team?

He stayed in the classroom to read.

"Umm… Sa-Sasuke-kun… would you like to eat together? Since we're in the same group and all."

He didn't look up from his book. "I've already eaten."

"Then, can I sit next to you and eat?"

"I don't own the seat. I will be reading so please don't disturb me."

Naruto beamed at Sakura. "Sakura-chan! Can I eat with you?"

"You're annoying! Go away!"

"But Sakura-chan…"

"I don't want to sit next to you!"

He tuned out their bickering and continued reading. After the fifth interruption by Sakura, he jumped out the window when she wasn't looking and found another spot to read. Once lunch was over, he headed back to the classroom to wait for their teacher.

The jounin was late and Naruto put a chalk duster between the door and the wall. When their jounin walked in, it fell on his head.

"I got him! I got him!" Naruto laughed uproariously.

"I'm sorry, sensei! I tried to stop Naruto!"

Sasuke recognised him as Hatake Kakashi of the Sharingan from the bingo book. S-class war hero.

Kakashi stroked his chin. "Hmm… as for my first impression of you guys… well, I don't like you." He clapped his hands together. "Gather at the rooftop!"

He vanished. All three of them headed up with Naruto and Sakura bickering over whose fault it was the entire way.

"First up, introductions."

"Introductions?" Sakura asked. "What should we say?"

"Your likes, dislikes, dreams, hobbies, things like that."

"Before that, introduce yourself first, sensei!" Naruto said.

"Me? I'm Hatake Kakashi. I don't feel like telling you guys what I like and dislike. I don't really have a dream. As for hobbies… well, I have a lot of those."

The other two introduced themselves. Naruto's was ramen-focused and he wanted to be Hokage. Though Sakura didn't say it, hers was about her love for Sasuke.

_Does this girl not have anything else interesting about her?_

"And lastly?" Kakashi said, looking at him.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like reading. I hate having to move. My dream… My hobbies… I like learning new things."

Kakashi leaned forward theatrically and put his hand to his ear. "I didn't catch it. What was your dream again?"

"I didn't say anything. But if I had to say something… I want to die. In my sleep peacefully. Preferably within the next 300 years and after having lived a fulfilling life. But I'm not too picky."

No one seemed to quite know how to react to that. Kakashi was the first to speak, announcing that there would be a difficult survival exercise determining if they would become genin or not.

_Good. I shall do everything in my power to fail._

If he remained in the academy, he would secure himself another peaceful year of reading. He was pretty sure he wasn't allowed to fail. He'd tried to quit the academy several times and stop becoming a ninja. Each time, he blacked out and woke up when he last slept. Still, it would be interesting to try.

The next day, they met up at 5am but Kakashi was late. 6 hours late. Sasuke wasn't too bothered by this as he had brought a scroll of books with him. He couldn't use his inventory in front of them. He ended up lending some to Naruto and Sakura when they got bored.

Sakura and Naruto were far less pleased when Kakashi finally showed up.

"YOU'RE LATE!"

Naruto dropped the book and he caught it before it could get bent on the ground. He sealed the books back up.

"Sorry, sorry, a black cat crossed my path, you see…"

Kakashi explained the exercise. But Sasuke knew it was unlikely that only two of them would get to pass. Sakura had little character so far but the length of her character page still indicated she was a main character. He suspected as long as they displayed sufficient combat prowess, they would be fine.

Unfortunately for him, he was a lot stronger than both Naruto and Sakura. Performing poorer than either would be incredibly obvious. They complained about the lack of lunch but since he didn't feel hungry, it didn't affect him.

"Feel free to come at me with the intent to kill me. You won't get anywhere unless you do that."

Naruto and Sakura protested and Kakashi insulted Naruto. Predictably, Naruto charged in and had his ass handed to him.

_I can't see Kakashi. My PER is still too weak._

When Kakashi finally started the test, Sakura immediately hid. Naruto stood on the open field and challenged Kakashi. Sasuke decided to walk towards the trees and observe. It was no contest. Naruto got handily beaten and thrown in a lake. He tried a smarter tactic to pin down Kakashi with his shadow clones but he just used the substitution jutsu to tap out, resulting in Naruto beating himself up with his clones. Naruto then got caught in an obvious trap and he was strung upside down on a tree by a rope.

Kakashi let his guard down while lecturing Naruto.

_Should I attack now? Unless Kakashi lets me take the bells, there's no way any of us can do it… If I want to pass, I should show initiative. But it's an obvious trap…_

He decided not to attack. Sakura threw some shuriken and Kakashi substituted out. She ran to change her location. Sasuke walked up to Naruto and cut his rope to let him down.

"Why did you do that? I could've gotten down without your help!"

Naruto then got caught in a second trap. He cut him down again.

"Shut up! I don't need your help!"

Sasuke walked away silently and stood in the clearing, waiting. He was sure Kakashi would eventually attack to test his strength. After hearing Sakura screaming in the distance, Kakashi showed up.

"Well? Aren't you going to attack?"

He sighed. "I don't really see a chance of victory…" He drew his swords. "… but I suppose I have to put in at least one attempt."

Using two blades had a severe STR damage penalty. But he was a DEX fighter and these were chakra conducting and poisoned blades. The lightning and poison were the main damage dealers. He'd put a paralytic on this time. He was sure Kakashi could tell what sort of blades they were by look.

He took a few steps forward before he started to run. He was a little faster than Kakashi expected but Kakashi had no problems ducking his first strike with the left sword and parrying his second with a kunai. Sasuke dodged Kakashi's kick by jumping backwards. He started attacking with a fury of sword strikes.

"You have speed… but not much else," Kakashi commented.

Sasuke sent lightning chakra up his sword. Kakashi switched to dodging instead of parrying. When he felt Kakashi's position left the bells close enough, he dropped both swords, formed a one-handed seal and blew a fireball into his face. Kakashi demonstrated incredible flexibility by bending backwards, surprise showing on his face. With the other hand, Sasuke reached for the bells. He managed to form a fist around them before Kakashi grabbed his hand and squeezed, clearly intending for the pain to stop him. When he didn't react, Kakashi squeezed with enough force to crack but not break his wrist. He was thankful for Kakashi's consideration. If Kakashi didn't hold back, he would die from the damage.

He had no bones to break and pain didn't stop him so he held onto the bells long enough to yank them free.

To say Kakashi was surprised was an understatement. Sasuke pulled his wrist back and rubbed it as a show.

"Thank you for holding back and underestimating me," he said.

Kakashi eyed the bells in his hand. "You have two of them. What are you going to do with the other one?"

He picked up his swords and sheathed them. Then he walked towards Naruto who was trying to sneak over to the lunches and dropped a bell in front of him.

"Eh? What's this? You're… you're giving it to me?! I don't need it! I can get it myself!" Naruto threw the bell back at Kakashi. "Pick it up! I'll fight you fair and square!"

Sasuke ignored Naruto and walked towards where he'd heard Sakura's screams.

"Sasuke-kun! You were alright? I thought you were dying!"

"It was probably a genjutsu." He tossed Sakura the remaining bell. "Take it."

"Sasuke-kun… this…"

"I have the other one. Don't worry about it."

Sakura smiled. "Really? You are really amazing!"

"Not really. If he was serious, I would have no chance."

The two of them strolled back to the clearing.

"Sasuke-kun… it seems as if the two of us will be on the team together…"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Whether we pass or fail is at the pleasure of our sensei. He can fail us for completely arbitrary reasons and make something up later."

"But… but he won't do something like that, right? He's a jounin!"

"I don't know him."

They came back in time to see Naruto get beaten up again.

"It seems Sasuke is the only one who passes," Kakashi commented.

"No," Sakura said, waving the bell. "He gave me the other bell! That means I pass too, right?"

Kakashi eyed Sasuke. "Why did you give away both your bells?"

Sakura gasped. "You gave one to Naruto? Why?"

_I want to fail._

"Sakura needs more practical experience. Naruto can't learn anything in a classroom." Sasuke said.

"You were taking pity on them?" Kakashi asked.

"Not really. The two of them can make… slightly suboptimal choices but they're not bad. With the right training, they'll be quite strong as well. Those kinds of people should be ninja."

"What about yourself?" He asked.

"Whether I become a ninja this year or next year or the year after that… it's not of much importance."

Sakura interjected. "But Sasuke-kun, you clearly deserve the position more than Naruto! That idiot barely passed!"

"In a sense, you could say so. Relative to Naruto, I am stronger. But relative to Hatake Kakashi, we're both equally weak."

"I'm not weaker than you, you bastard! I'll beat you up!"

Kakashi stared at him hard. "Are you taking ninja lightly? Do you really want to be a ninja?"

"I'm not good with words." He placed his hands on his swords. "I train."

Kakashi smiled cheerfully at them. "Is that so? That's good to hear. All of you… fail!"

"Eh? Why?" Sakura cried. "At least, Sasuke-kun should pass! He managed to get both of the bells! I'll give him back mine!"

"What do you think the true purpose of this test was?"

"True purpose?"

"Yes."

Naruto and Sakura threw out a few wild guesses.

"Teamwork!" Kakashi declared.

_Oh. Oh no. It's one of those worlds._

"Teamwork?"

"Yes."

Kakashi went on a speech about the importance of teamwork and the purpose of the 3-man squad while Sasuke decided how he felt about this. He supposed he should hope for a power-of-friendship world. It made the main quest easier but also longer and somewhat repetitive. The length didn't matter. He had time.

Kakashi tied Naruto to a log.

"It's lunchtime! But as punishment for trying to eat the lunches, Naruto will go without lunch. If either of you tries to feed him, you will be disqualified instantly! After lunch, I will give you three another chance at the bells. This time I won't underestimate you so don't rely on that, Sasuke."

Kakashi disappeared. Sakura wasted no time in opening her lunchbox.

"Here, Sasuke-kun. Eat up!"

He took the lunchbox offered to him and stared at him. He hated eating. It was just tasteless mush.

Naruto's stomach growled loudly,

_I highly doubt this would result in me failing. If I don't give it to him, we'll get another chance. If I give it to him, it's teamwork. But… I really don't want to eat. And I want to fail._

He opened the lunchbox, scooped up some rice with his chopsticks and placed it next to Naruto's mouth.

"Are you… but you'll fail!"

"I don't need to eat much. I will put it into your mouth. If you want to spit it up, spit it up."

He stuffed the rice into Naruto's mouth. Naruto chewed rapidly and swallowed.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said, looking around frantically. "You can't!"

"…"

After a few more moments of looking around, Sakura stood up. "If it's just for a bit… I suppose it's fine…"

"Sakura-chan! You'll feed me?"

"Just a few bites!"

At that moment, Kakashi appeared before them in a burst of wind.

_Drama queen._

"You three! You dare break the rules?!"

Thunder roared and lightning flickered through the sky.

_No, I suppose the proper term is drama king? Cute. Or annoying._

"But… but… sensei!" Naruto cried. "You said we had to work as a team! Isn't taking care of your teammates teamwork?"

"That's right!" Sakura said. "Naruto is a part of our team! It would've been wrong not to feed him!"

"…" He chose not to say anything.

Kakashi looked at him. "Sasuke? What about you? How do you feel about this?"

"I… didn't want to eat. Naruto was hungry so I gave it to him."

"Even though you would fail and you haven't eaten since yesterday?"

"Un."

"That's hard to believe."

_I slept last night but having to fight Kakashi again would be troublesome. I guess I'll have to pass. This character can't convincingly give a friendship and teamwork speech so…_

"I'm not good with words. But. I don't want them to die. Feeding Naruto is a good thing."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Well, the three of you pass…?"

Both Naruto and Sakura expressed their surprise. Sakura's seemed genuine. He thought she saw through it and that was why she offered her lunch to Naruto.

After announcing they passed, Kakashi said missions would start the next day. Their group dynamics were about what he expected. Sakura would fawn over him, Naruto would get jealous and challenge him, Sakura would hit Naruto and Naruto would fawn over her. He hoped she would grow out of her infatuation and that the story won't expect him to fall in love with her. Being 12, she was too much of a child for him to feel any attraction. For now, she helped reign in Naruto's aggression towards him.

He didn't mind the simple cat rescues, babysitting and message delivery missions. Sakura seemed content with just being on the same team as him. But after a while, Naruto got frustrated and threw a fit in front of the Hokage. In line with Sasuke's view of this world, he was rewarded with a more difficult mission instead of punished.

It was a simple escort mission. He hated escort missions but at least they weren't courier missions. With a civilian client, at least they would be walking instead of running. Naruto didn't feel the same way and complained about Tazuna who insulted him.

Not long after they left the village, his passive perception alerted him to the puddle in the middle of the road. He couldn't tell what was odd about it or why he was alerted.

He sighed.

_If it's a water jutsu, this is a B-rank mission. They could be after the sharingan or something but since they had no way of knowing we would take this mission, they're probably after the client. Troublesome._

Two ninja jumped out of the puddle once they passed. Kakashi was taken out and they rushed the genin.

_Judging by their levels… upper chuunin. There's no way Kakashi was taken out by them. Demon brothers? They must have good compatibility and team play for them to get a title like that._

Since levels included things like perception and charisma skills and left out tactics, reflexes and battle experience, they weren't an absolute indicator of combat strength but he highly doubted these two were charisma builds. The two of them were connected by a chain and rushed Naruto. He pulled out his sword and sliced downwards on the chain, sending lightning chakra through it. One managed to disengage the chain on time while the other suffered a severe lightning burn on their arm, forcing him to discard his weapon.

They avoided them and switched targets to Tazuna. He threw shuriken in front of the one who still had his weapon on, forcing him to turn and face Sasuke. Sakura stepped in front of Tazuna to protect him.

"Sakura, the other one!"

"Y-yes!"

_If Sakura can't handle it, Kakashi will protect her._

The chuunin understood that his lightning chakra meant meeting his sword with his heavy metal claw or kunai was a bad idea and backed off to get range. Perfect. That was the whole reason he had a lightning sword and why he liked to open with it. Close-ranged combat was his weakest point but it fooled people into thinking it was his speciality.

He dropped his sword, threw lightning shuriken with one hand and form a seal in another. The chuunin ducked away from the lightning shuriken, throwing his balance slightly. A split second later, the fire jutsu followed. Before it could hit him, Kakashi grabbed the chuunin and threw him out of the way.

"Good job, Sasuke, Sakura."

It was clear Tazuna had lied but Naruto insisted on moving the mission forward despite being pretty shaken from the attack.

Kakashi gave it a moment's thought. "Well, if anything comes up… I will be able to handle it. At least, we'll send you to Wave."

The journey to Wave was uneventful with Naruto jumping at every sound and glaring at him.

_Should I say something comforting? No, he'd take it as an insult. But this rivalry is troublesome. Maybe if I'm nice to him for long enough, he'll figure out I'm not his enemy._

"Kakashi-sensei, next time, they'd send jounin."

"Yes."

"Do you think any of us would be able to detect them?"

"No."

He turned to Naruto. "There's no point in being jumpy. Rely on Kakashi-sensei."

"Shut up, you bastard! This time, I'll take them on!"

"Can you beat Kakashi-sensei?"

"One day I will be the Hokage and surpass him!"

"Calm down. The objective of this mission isn't to go ninja hunting. You could single-handedly beat 10 jounin at once but if Tazuna-san dies, there's no point."

Kakashi prevented Naruto from lunging at him. "Sasuke is right. If you want to be useful, stick closer to Tazuna-san and don't run ahead. Remember what we said about teamwork? If we go into combat, leave the fighting to me. The three of you should focus on guarding Tazuna-san."

"Hmph!"

They snuck into Wave and Tazuna explained how he was being targeted by Gato, one of the richest maritime gang leaders, and how Gato completely controlled the island nation. On the boat trip there, he successfully guilt-tripped the team into guarding him.

_I have a bad feeling. This is too detailed and dire not to have another life-threatening incident after this. It might not be a jounin. We might run into a Kakashi-level opponent. I guess I'll sleep._

"Eh? Sasuke-kun? You're sleeping?"

"Yes."

"You can't do that, Sasuke," Kakashi said. "We're on a mission."

"Then can you wake me up after 5 seconds? I can sleep instantly."

Kakashi seemed mildly confused and not a little curious. "… Okay?"

He pressed the sleep button. When he woke up, he was soaking wet in Kakashi's arms and Naruto was standing over him.

"What happened?"

"You won't wake up no matter what we did until Naruto punched you," Sakura explained. "You must be quite tired."

_I see. If I don't set a time, I can't wake up. Outside interference is not enough. I must be damaged…_

Sasuke froze in fear. His body felt cold. He hadn't eaten anything in months but felt like throwing up.

_Oh. Oh no._

When he died, he got revived where he slept. But he only woke up when damaged. It was theoretically possible for him to be caught in a death loop where he would wake up in front of a group of enemies who could instakill him and send him back in time to be killed again.

_This is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad-_

"Sasuke? Sasuke? Sasuke?" He jolted out of his thoughts as Kakashi shook him. "Are you alright?"

"… Yes."

_Calm down. I just have to make sure I only sleep near an ally who would instantly wake me up. If possible, I should avoid sleeping outside of Konoha._

"That's some legendary sleeping," Kakashi said. "We dunked you into the ocean quite violently a few times."

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun… I tried to stop them!"

"It's fine. Thank you for waking me up."

"What's your secret?" Tazuna asked. "I wish I could sleep so soundly."

"I don't know."

"You looked like you'd died," Kakashi commented. "You stopped breathing and you were unresponsive."

_Ah… I didn't know that. That's a pain. Kakashi is definitely suspicious. If I can't sleep in front of them, away missions are going to be hard._

"I didn't know that."

"How can you not notice that you've stopped breathing?" Naruto said.

"I'm sleeping when I'm sleeping. I live alone. It's been a while since someone woke me up."

"Sasuke-kun, you live alone?" Sakura asked. "What about your parents?"

"Dead."

"Oh… sorry."

"It happened a while ago."

There was a short silence before Naruto suddenly spoke up. "Actually, I also don't have parents… so…"

_How should I react…_

Naruto was staring down at his feet, dejected, sneaking glances at Sasuke. Sasuke reached out with his hand. He planned to touch his head but somehow, his fingers curled downwards and he ended up poking Naruto's forehead lightly. A memory long forgotten pushed forth into his mind.

_Nii-san… Narrative interference?_

"What was that for?" Naruto yelped, confused.

"You've had it hard. But… I'm glad for you. Despite everything, you have so many people who care for you. Hokage-sama and Iruka-sensei love you."

Naruto's mouth gaped open. His eyes watered. He closed it, opened it to speak and then looked away, his arm rubbing his eyes furiously.

"I… but…"

"But it's still lonely, right? It's hard to replace the love of a mother and father."

"…"

"…"

"… Are you lonely, Sasuke?"

"It's… not because I don't have parents."

"Then why?"

"…"

The rest of the ride was deathly silent. He drew his swords when they disembarked and the five of them started walking towards Tazuna's house.

"DUCK!"

All of them flattened themselves to the ground as a sword sailed through the air. Jumping back to his feet, he saw a Kiri-nin standing on an impractically large sword.

_Momochi Zabuza. Kage-level. Kakashi is still a bit stronger but he has to fight protecting Tazuna and us. If he's working with those chuunin, Zabuza may also have backup._

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's collar as he moved towards Zabuza.

"He's not someone we can do anything against. Leave this to Kakashi-sensei."

"But-"

"Don't forget our mission. We are to defend Tazuna-san. We have to be on the lookout for enemy reinforcements."

He half-dragged Naruto into position in front of Tazuna. Sakura followed without question.

Zabuza tracked their movements. "Kid, you recognise me?"

"Your name is in the bingo book."

"Eh? What's the bingo book?" Naruto asked.

"A list of notable ninja and ninja with bounties. It's not given to genin. I read the one my parents had before they died. If you want it, I'll lend it to you."

Zabuza smirked. "If you give me the old man, I see no reason for us to fight. This is outside the paygrade of a genin team anyway. Since the client lied, you won't even be failing a mission. You don't want to lose your students, do you?"

"Unfortunately, I can't allow that." Kakashi moved his tilted forehead protector up, revealing his sharingan.

"Is that so? Then, I will have to kill you."

Zabuza jumped onto the water's surface and performed the Hidden Mist jutsu, vanishing from sight and shrouding the area in mist. He tried intimidating them with bloodlust and talking about how he would kill them. Kakashi responded with his own bloodlust.

_Not a bad attempt. But if nothing else, intimidation doesn't work well on this group… no, the bloodlust is freaking the two of them out a bit._

Sakura and Naruto were sweating and trembling slightly. As Kakashi reassured them, Zabuza appeared in front of Tazuna and behind the three of them. Sakura and Naruto jumped away. Sasuke did the same while swinging his lightning blade. Zabuza caught the blade. He sent more chakra up and Zabuza exploded into water.

_Water clone jutsu._

"Sensei! Behind!" Naruto cried.

Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi and sliced him in half. 'Kakashi' dissolved into a puddle. Kakashi then appeared behind Zabuza and put a knife to his neck.

"Don't move."

Zabuza laughed and dissolved into a water clone. Another Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi and kicked him. Kakashi flew into the water.

_This is bad._

Sasuke tried to throw shuriken at Zabuza but the dodge barely slowed him down. He jumped into the water.

_This is very bad._

Sasuke ran towards the water and dipped the tip of his sword in just as Kakashi stuck his head above water.

"Kakashi, guard!"

_Kakashi has lightning affinity. He should have higher resist than Zabuza._

He sent lightning chakra into the water. Luckily, Kakashi successfully shrouded himself in chakra beforehand. Zabuza, who had just started to perform the water jail jutsu, had to fight for control over the water in a chakra control fight. Sasuke lost quick but it was enough time for Kakashi to climb out of the water.

"Nice assist," Kakashi coughed, wiping the water out of his eyes. "Stand back."

_He's trembling. He still took a little damage from my lightning. The damage isn't major but the SPD debuff may be a problem._

Zabuza glared at Sasuke and his bloodlust increased. "You brat! When I catch you, I'll break every bone in your body!"

_I have no bones so good luck._

Sasuke resumed formation in front of Tazuna.

"Nice, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said.

"Don't let your guard down. Kakashi-sensei could still lose. We should back away a little."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"We shouldn't get in the way of Kakashi-sensei's jutsu."

They backed away slightly but still close enough to see what was going on. To put it lightly, Zabuza was upset at Sasuke and he was getting madder and madder by the second as Kakashi copied his water dragon jutsu and fired it off at the exact same time.

_Even though it is a copy, the power and speed are about the same. Impressive._

Zabuza sent the water dragon after Tazuna (or maybe Sasuke) but Kakashi blocked it with his water dragon. He then pulled off the objectively cool tactic of copying Zabuza's movements perfectly in perfect sync.

"… reading them," Kakashi suddenly said.

Judging by Zabuza's surprised expression, Kakashi had just read his mind.

_With a little cold reading, a skilled sharingan user can pull off this level of future sight but… to Zabuza it must really look like mind reading._

"… giving me that blasted, evil eye… right?"

_Now that's rather specific. Impressive._

"Heh!" Zabuza said. "In the end, you're just copying me. It's a second-rate imitation. You-"

"-won't be able to beat me! Monkey bastard!" Kakashi ended in unison with Zabuza.

Zabuza growled. "I'll shut your copycat monkey mouth forever!"

Kakashi successfully guessed what jutsu Zabuza was going to perform next.

"Water Style: Great Vortex Jutsu!"

For the first time in a while, an amused smile tugged at Sasuke's lips.

_That drama king. I can see why so many people are scared of his antics._

A swirling vortex of water pinned Zabuza to a tree and Kakashi pinned him down with kunai.

"Can you… see the future?"

"Yes." Kakashi twirled a kunai in his fingers. "You're going to die."

_Cute._

Two senbon appeared out of left field and slammed into Zabuza's neck. He collapsed.

A ninja wearing a Kiri mask stood atop a tree branch. He gave a little laugh. "You're right. He died." His voice was quite young. His character name was '?'.

Kakashi went to check the body, putting his fingers to Zabuza's neck. "He is dead."

The Kiri-nin bowed to Kakashi. "Thank you very much. I've been waiting for a chance to kill him."

"A Kiri tracker-nin?"

"Yes."

"What's a tracker-nin?" Naruto asked.

"A ninja that hunts rogue ninja!" Sakura lectured. "It's to prevent village secrets from being leaked. That's common sense! You should've studied more!"

"Tracker-nin? His… job is to hunt another ninja?"

"Yes."

"Like Zabuza?"

"Yes. Were you listening?"

Naruto's eyes were wide and sweat dripped down his face. He clenched his fists, walked up to the tree, pointing at the mystery ninja. "What are you?!" He screamed.

"As I said, a tracker-"

Naruto's head whipped back to Sakura. "That's not what I mean! That's not what I mean! He's… he's our age! Yet, he killed Zabuza so easily! What does that make us?!"

"Weak," Sasuke stated. "Relative to him, we're quite weak."

"Doesn't that bother you?!"

"Not really. It's just reality. Whether I like it or not doesn't really matter."

Naruto's lips trembled and he looked away. There was a period of silence and the Kiri-nin slowly walked up to Zabuza.

_He's going to carry away the corpse? I don't like this. He's been watching us since the start of the battle and Kakashi didn't notice him. Are they really going to throw out a character like that as a nameless nobody?_

"Wait," he said. The tracker-nin paused and turned to look as Sasuke walked up to the body. "What are you going to do with the body?"

"I will bring the head back as proof of my mission."

Sasuke stopped just short of the body. Kakashi was curious but let him continue talking.

_Power-of-Friendship Rule #1: Unless the body is ash, it's not dead. If a friend is ash, they're not dead._

"You only need the head, right?"

_I still don't know what the death policy of this world is. Even if it isn't quite revolving door, I won't be surprised if a character or two comes back from the dead._

Sasuke lifted his sword and brought it down on Zabuza's neck. The Kiri-nin dashed in front of Zabuza's body and guarded with his kunai. He disengaged from Sasuke before he could even send lightning chakra up.

_Tsk. I'm slow. SPD training is a pain._

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled. Everyone was caught off guard. "What are you doing?!"

Kakashi took a combat stance and everyone followed suit. "Tracker-nin-san. Why did you stop Sasuke? If I recall… it's customary for tracker-nin to take care of their target on the spot. There's also a technique with senbon that can simulate death."

_This… Was that the right decision? Kakashi is almost unscathed but he's on his last legs chakra-wise. No, Zabuza and this nin would've come back and attacked us at the same time. They may also have additional backup. We have no chance against the two of them together. But can Kakashi beat him in this state?_

The nin took inventory of everyone, weighing his options. Before he could say anything, Sasuke readied his second sword.

"Wait!" The Kiri-nin cried, leaping forward.

Sasuke did not wait.

Zabuza's head was sliced cleanly off his body.

Kakashi stopped the desperate charge, punching him in the gut. The Kiri-nin was slammed into a nearby tree. The nin looked up and upon seeing Zabuza's severed head, froze up. Kakashi moved forward and held his kunai to his neck.

"Don't move. Surrender yourself."

A choked, strangled gasp escaped the mouth of the Kiri-nin. "I… Zabuza-sama… AHHHHHHHHH!"

The nin started sobbing and screaming. Kakashi grimaced and removed the mask.

_Young. A child._

That child curled up into himself as he sobbed hysterically, completely unconcerned about the kunai to his neck. Sakura started crying too, her legs giving out. Naruto's eyes were watery, rapidly looking between the child, Zabuza's head and Sasuke. His mouth was open but no words left. Tazuna couldn't bring himself to look at the scene, turning his head to the side. Even Kakashi took a few moments to absorb what'd just happened.

_This is sad._

Sasuke brought his hand up to where his heart should be as he listened to the broken sobs of the child. He'd just killed his father figure.

_This is sad. Yet…_

"Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke said. "You should bind him."

Kakashi did so silently, tying his hands and feet and slapping a chakra seal on his forehead. The child was limp, too absorbed in grief to resist. Naruto stalked up to Sasuke and grabbed his collar.

"How can you be so… so… do you not feel anything?!"

"Will my tears change anything?"

Naruto punched him in the face, holding back tears. Sasuke flowed with the punch and let himself hit the ground.

"Naruto!" Sakura gasped.

Naruto ignored her and glared at him. "Shut up! How can you do something like that?" He gestured wildly at Zabuza's head. "You're a genin like me! You just graduated! You should be… you should be…!"

Sasuke slowly picked himself up.

_How do I respond… logic isn't going to cut it. He doesn't have a problem with the logic of my actions. It's the heart._

_I'm sorry. I cannot be your friend. I cannot be your rival. I can only act. I am sorry._

"I'm… a little dead. Even if you ask me to cry, I don't think I'm capable of doing so."

Naruto's lips trembled and he wiped away a stray tear. He gnashed his teeth together.

"My reaction isn't necessarily correct." Sasuke glanced over Kakashi carrying the sobbing child. "Crying a bit is a good way to get your emotions out."

_Though there's still the potential for additional enemies. Then again, having two S-class ninja on the payroll is already excessive._

Naruto moved to punch him. This time, Kakashi caught the punch.

"Naruto. It's fine to be frustrated and sad. But don't take it out on Sasuke. Sasuke has his own weight to carry as well."

Naruto punched the nearest tree over and over.

"I don't understand! I just don't understand!"

Hands and legs trembling, Sakura managed to get up and hug Sasuke from behind.

"Are you alright?"

"Why are hugging me? Naruto is the one crying."

"But… you're not alright. This is wrong."

Sakura cried into his shoulder. He let her.

Kakashi finished stripping the ninja and checking for any traps. He stood there, taking in the three crying children, mentally dead Uchiha and distraught client. He scratched his head, shifted from foot to foot and cleared his throat awkwardly. No one but Sasuke paid him any heed.

Until he collapsed from chakra exhaustion.


	2. Loneliness

"Kakashi-sensei!" They rushed to check on him.

"You can rest at my house," Tazuna said, his voice hoarse. He blew his nose on his shirt, wiped his eyes and put his glasses back on. "I owe you my life."

Sasuke sealed Zabuza's body and equipment. He carried Kakashi under one arm and the child under another. "Tazuna-san's life is not out of the woods."

Sakura nodded. "Gato is rich and may have another ninja in reserve."

They reformed around Tazuna. No one attacked them on their way to his house. His daughter Tsunami welcomed them. His grandson Inari was less enthused. In the room given, Sasuke laid Kakashi on a futon and the prisoner in the corner. They chased Tazuna and his daughter out for a team discussion.

"We'll take turns sleeping while the other two will guard the prisoner and house. Don't get too close to the prisoner or put him within arm's reach of any weapons. I will take care of feeding and cleaning sensei and him."

"I will do it! Who put you in charge?" Naruto said.

"You can decide who gets first watch."

"I will get first watch. You can rest!"

"Then Sakura will guard the prisoners. I'll sleep after tending to Kakashi-sensei. We work in 8-hour shifts. Do you want to sleep second or last?"

"I'll sleep last!"

"Once I wake up, I'll switch places with Sakura."

Naruto jumped to his feet. "I'll be the best guard you've ever seen! Just watch me!" He dashed off.

_As expected, he has a fast mental recovery time._

"Sakura," he whispered into her ear. "I don't trust Naruto to guard the prisoner properly. Don't let him near and make sure he takes patrol duty."

Sakura glanced at the prisoner who'd passed out from crying. "I understand. But are you okay? It's okay to cry. I will be here for you."

"Yes. I'm going to tend to Kakashi-sensei. See if Tazuna-san needs anything."

Sakura nodded and left. Sasuke stripped the prisoner and checked for traps. He found nothing. Sasuke dressed him in spare clothes in case the clothing had secrets.

Kakashi was fine. He would recover his chakra within 34 hours but the physical effects of chakra exhaustion lingered after chakra recovery. He would not be fit for jounin-level combat for a week. Sasuke didn't know how to do a chakra transfusion and could only force-feed him with jutsu and clean him.

He considered sleeping but they may decide to let him sleep in. If they got attacked by jounin, there was a possible death loop. Between eternal torture and having to replay the last few hours, the choice was obvious. He'd experiment with the sleep mechanic once he was safely in Konoha.

He trapped the room and called Sakura back in, informing her where they were. Trapping the whole house was dangerous given the civilian child. He hauled Kakashi to the bathroom to wash him. When he returned, Sakura was sat by the door, nodding off.

"Sakura. Switch with me."

"But-"

"I can't sleep. You're more useful awake. Go to sleep."

Sakura was easily convinced and Sasuke had no intention of waking her. Pretending to sleep was boring. He'd brought a lot of books and scrolls to read in his inventory.

The prisoner woke up during his 4th hour of watch. He lay in the corner silently for 2 hours before speaking.

"… What's your name?"

"Sasuke. You?"

"... Haku."

"…"

"How did you know he was alive?"

_Trope knowledge._

"Instinct."

_Close enough._

"Have you killed someone?"

"No comment."

Sasuke read five pages before Haku spoke. "Why did you become a ninja?"

"The world won't let me quit."

"You don't have anything to protect?"

"I don't have much left."

"You don't have anyone precious?"

"I prefer it if my teammates don't die. In general, people not dying is good. Does that count?"

"I don't think so."

"Then I don't have anyone."

"… What's going to happen to me?"

"Who knows. If you swear fealty to Konoha, there's a decent chance you'll live because of your talents. The vetting process will be rigorous."

"I have nothing to live for."

"Do you want me to kill you?"

"… I don't know. Maybe."

He read while Haku intermittently broke into tears in the background. He paused to feed Kakashi. Haku refused to eat. Humans could survive a while without food so he wasn't too concerned.

_Was Naruto supposed to beat then reform him? Maybe I should've let Naruto guard Haku. No, best to wait until Kakashi is up._

Sakura woke. Sasuke checked his system's clock. She'd been out for 14 hours.

"Sasuke-kun, good morning." Sakura yawned. "What time is it?"

"3am."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were tired. I'm not."

Sakura blushed and looked away. "I see. Thank you."

"…"

"But… you must be tired, right? It's almost Naruto's turn to sleep."

"We have 2 hours until Naruto's sleep time. I'd rather power through it than take a nap."

_Speaking of which, Naruto's been awfully quiet._

"Sakura, guard them. I'm going to check on Naruto."

"You're really alright?"

"Yes."

He stepped out, finding Naruto asleep on the porch with a blanket thrown over him.

… _Asking a 12-year-old human boy to pull 16-hour duty is too much. How could I forget how limited their attention spans were? I should have given him another task to do._

He scooped Naruto up in his arms and brought him back to the room.

"I'll guard these three."

Sakura glared at Naruto.

"He can't sit through an academy lecture. I should've known better than to charge him with boring guard duty."

"But you need to rest. We should wake Naruto up," she whispered.

"I am used to long nights. I've stayed up for longer."

Sakura still didn't look convinced.

"I know my limits. Trust me, Sakura."

"… If you're sure…"

"Don't tell Naruto-kun I didn't sleep. His pride will be hurt."

Sakura nodded and left for guard duty. He considered changing Naruto's clothes but Naruto wouldn't like it. 3 blissful hours of reading later, Naruto woke as the sun began to rise.

He sat up, confused as he took in his surroundings. "AH! I fell asleep!"

Sasuke put a finger to his lips. "It's 6am."

Naruto whispered at him furiously. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"When I found you, it was your sleep time. Sakura is guarding the house. You should relieve her-"

Naruto's stomach growled.

"-after you've eaten."

Naruto flushed. "What about you?"

"I had rations. Did you pack food?"

"I didn't know it was going to be such a long mission!"

Sasuke motioned him to keep quiet. In the corner, Haku started to wake.

"Get Sakura to eat. You can eat together."

He glanced at Kakashi's chakra levels.

_Another 17 hours until consciousness._

Naruto perked up at eating with Sakura. "Next time, I won't lose to you!"

_It's guard duty. What would be the win condition?_

Naruto left the room. Haku lay in the corner, his eyes glazed over and far away. Occasionally, he would glance over to Sasuke.

_I hope he's not thinking about revenge. Having an urban legend for a brother is bad enough. I don't need more enemies._

"Do you have anything you like reading?" He asked.

"No."

He scrolled through his inventory and found a mildly interesting scroll on the evolution of linguistics. He put his hand in his pack and withdrew from his inventory. The scroll appeared in his hand, hidden from view. He walked over to Haku and laid out the scroll in front of him.

"Thinking too much is not good. I don't have any fiction on me."

"… Thank you."

"Tell me when you need me to scroll further."

It took Haku some time to start reading. Every few minutes, he would ask Sasuke to move the scroll.

_He doesn't seem the type for revenge. But I shouldn't let my guard down._

Tsunami came to give them food. Sasuke sat Kakashi up and force-fed him slowly. Haku took a few bites.

After a bite of tomato, Haku suddenly sniffled. "Why are you so kind to me?"

"I'm not being kind."

"That food was meant for you."

"Can't have you dying on me."

"You could. You could say I tried to escape. Taking care of me is a pain, isn't it?"

_That didn't even occur to me. Either way, killing him would likely reset things._

"I have to take care of Kakashi-sensei. Taking care of another isn't a big deal. Eat." He shoved another spoonful of rice into Haku's mouth.

Haku sniffled some more and swallowed it. "That boy said you just graduated. What happened to you?"

"Hmm… in the last few years, there was only one big event. My brother upped and killed my clan."

"He killed them? All of them?"

"As far as I'm aware, I'm the last one."

"… Why?"

"I don't know. I don't know why he let me live either."

"I… have a bloodline. I know in Konoha bloodlines are revered but in Water, they only bring war. My father found out my mother and I had one and… he killed my mother. My bloodline killed him and the village."

"What is your bloodline?"

"Ice Release."

"Konoha doesn't have that one. You will be welcomed. They will do everything they can do support you building your own clan and starting a family."

Haku looked down. "… Who would want me?"

"You're a good kid."

_If no woman wants you, unlikely given your face, Konoha will find one for you._

Haku continued staring at his feet, biting his lip. His eyes watered and flicked up to meet Sasuke's before looking down again. "…"

_He looks like a dejected puppy._

"If you get cleared by T&I, I can give you a place to stay."

_Eh? What did I just say?_

Haku's head shot up. "You'd let me stay with you?"

_Whatever. Having Haku around is a good asset. He's strong._

"We'd be neighbours. In Konoha, clans are given sizable land. I live in a ghost town with 30 residences. We have everything from big ancestral semi-castles to single-room homes. You can pick one."

"I haven't had a home since… since…"

"…"

"Do you think I'm worth keeping alive? Do you think… do you think… I should live?"

"Do you love people?"

"… I don't like killing. I want…"

"If you like helping, do that. Even if you join, they won't trust you with high-level missions. You can weed gardens, catch runaway cats or play with children. It's simple but it makes people happy."

"I can make people happy?"

"Saving the world is hard but it isn't that difficult to improve the lives around you. If you wish for death, I'm not the sort to insist otherwise. But a simple life of service isn't too bad for most humans. You can quit with a blade if you really don't like it."

"If I told you to kill me… would you?"

"Depends. I don't want to be charged with murder. But I can assist in euthanasia. I'd check to make sure you're not under mind influences first."

"… Thank you."

"No problem."

With this reassurance, Sasuke left the room. Tazuna, Tsunami, Inari, Sakura and Naruto were eating.

"Sasuke-kun, are you hungry?" Sakura asked.

"No. I came to discuss guard duty."

"I need to go to the bridge," Tazuna said.

"No. It's too dangerous," Sasuke said. "We need to guard you, your family, Kakashi-sensei and the prisoner."

"But the whole point of coming back was to work on the bridge!" Tazuna protested.

"Kakashi-sensei should be up within a day or two. The bridge can wait that long. None of you should leave this building. If you need anything, Naruto has a jutsu that can create duplicates of himself. He can buy food and deliver instructions to the building site."

"That's right, old man!" Naruto said. "You can rely on me!"

Tazuna frowned. "But… I need to see the site. You seem pretty strong. It should fine right?"

Naruto's chest puffed up.

Sasuke blinked.

_Ah. That's right. Regular humans have exceptionally bad risk calculation and opponent evaluation._

" _Tazuna-san,_ " he said, his voice low. "Do you not understand what you have done?"

"… Yes?"

"Zabuza isn't any jounin. He fought the Mizukage and lived. Jounin are powerful but there are huge gaps of power between them. Weaker jounin have little chance against near-kage. It's like the difference between genin and jounin. Kakashi-sensei is a legend of the 3rd Great Ninja War said to have copied a thousand jutsu. He's kage-level. _And he struggled_. Do you understand how much you lucked out? There's a reason why the ranking system is in place and _why lying is a very bad idea_. If it had been any other genin team, you would have the blood of three children and a jounin on your hands. You would also be dead and so would your family."

Tazuna looked down, somewhat guilty and contrite.

Sasuke walked away. "Gato is rich. We don't know how many other ninja he has on his payroll. I will guard Haku and sensei. If you need anything outside the house, tell Naruto."

The remaining time until Kakashi woke up was relatively peaceful. Two samurai tried to kill Tazuna's family but Naruto dispatched them quickly with a little shadow clone trickery. He was getting better at using them.

When Kakashi awoke, Sasuke briefed him on the situation.

Kakashi was strangely fixated on his mask. "You bathed me?"

"Yes."

"… Did you see my face?"

"Yes. I had to feed you."

Kakashi's shoulders slumped. "Oh."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"You have a nice face. What's wrong?"

"Can you not show anyone what you saw?"

_He gets a kick out of everyone's curiosity._

"Sure. Haku has an interest in joining Konoha. He is affiliated with Zabuza but not Kiri. Kiri is aware of an Ice Release user helping Zabuza but not his exact identity."

"We will take him back."

"Samurai tried to kill Tazuna-san's grandchild. They weren't very strong. Should we go on the offensive or stick to defending? Gato makes regular appearances in town surrounded by samurai. If they're of that level, you could bust down the front door and kill all of them if you had to."

"Hmm… we'll have to see. Killing Gato wouldn't necessarily solve Wave's problems. He may have a successor."

"He doesn't have one," Haku spoke up. "Gato doesn't understand ninja. He didn't understand how strong Zabuza-sama was. He thinks he's safe with a few hundred samurai of genin to low-chuunin level. Following his death, there's a good chance his gang will have a succession crisis and enter a civil war. Wave is a new venture and isn't even profitable yet. Wave should be mostly left alone."

"I'll go and scout." Kakashi tried to stand but his hands trembled. He sat back down. "Once I've recovered."

"It's only a matter of time before Gato sends his force of samurai upon this house," Sasuke said.

"We'll have to shore up our defences." Hand still tremoring, Kakashi reached out and patted his head. "Don't push yourself. If you have any problems, sensei is here for you. Don't do anything rash."

"I understand. Thank you."

Sasuke informed everyone that Kakashi was awake. Everyone came, even Inari. Apparently, Naruto had managed to make friends with the child.

"I'm going to take a break," Sasuke said. "I'll eat outside so don't worry about me."

He left the house and walked around. Gato was at the docks, harassing the workers with his samurai.

_Gato and 34 other targets. 34 opponents is risky, even if they are low level. Some of them may be hiding their level or have unexpected skill combinations. Dealing with mass amounts of low levels is Naruto's speciality and Kakashi would be able to decimate them. There is no need to engage._

He stayed a while to observe them. Nothing indicated Kakashi couldn't handle them. He snuck back into Kakashi's room as lunch was served.

"Would you like me to feed you?"

"No, I'm fine." Kakashi's hands shook but grasped the spoon firm enough to eat.

"I spotted Gato with 34 guards. When you're healed, you can take them on no problem."

The trouble was waiting until Kakashi was well enough. As it turned out, all of Sasuke's worries were for nothing. Naruto absolutely loved traps and treated the assignment as a prank challenge. It took about three days for Kakashi to stand up properly and Naruto guarded the house just fine with his traps and shadow clones.

He sat at the back of the house, reflecting.

_I underestimated him. He just needs the right situation to apply himself. If I didn't intervene during the Zabuza fight, would he have been fine? But as the rival, I would have done something in the fight… right? It's my job to be a bit stronger than Naruto so he can compete with me._

He scratched his head. Lightly at first, but his scratching grew more and more vigorous.

_I don't want this. I don't want to be the rival and Naruto should be a happy kid who doesn't need to worry about anything. I don't want this. I want to die. Why do I have to live? Are the gods laughing at me? Is someone doing this to be intentionally or am I a freak of nature?_

He resisted the urge to stab himself to death again. It would just reset things and make more work.

_I want to eat ice cream._

"Sasuke? Why are you tearing your hair out?" He jumped out of his skin. Kakashi hobbled over with his crutch and slowly sat next to him.

"It just itched a bit."

"You're crying."

Startled, Sasuke touched his face and felt slight dampness.

_I can cry?_

"Of course you can. You are a human too."

_That's right. I am a human now. Humans possess tear ducts and cry over the smallest things._

"I… It's just been a while."

"What's wrong? You can tell your sensei."

_Not yet. Maybe when I know Kakashi better. But not yet. Kakashi may tell Konoha._

"…"

Kakashi placed his hand on his shoulder. "You are my student. I will always protect you. I will always protect the three of you."

Sasuke looked up. He could tell Kakashi was smiling.

Sasuke could only stare up at him helplessly.

_I want this… What do I want?_

He looked down and pondered.

_I want to lean on him. To be safe and never have to worry again. I want… I want to be his student and Naruto's friend and Sakura's love interest. I want this ordinary human life for real. To live normally and die normally. But how can I be a child again?_

"I can't, Kakashi." He was distantly aware of the tears running down his face but his voice did not crack and his tone was clear. He had no lungs and he didn't need to breathe. "I can't be a proper student. I can't be 12 again. I can't be Naruto or Sakura again."

_I can't even remember that time._

"You don't have to be. You just have to be yourself."

"Myself?"

"Yes. You don't have to copy anyone. You don't have to put up an act."

"I…"

_Would the world even allow that?_

"You don't have to be cold all the time. Caring about the people around you doesn't make you weak."

"… You will die. One day."

"Everything dies eventually. If we're too caught up in that, nothing good would ever start."

"I… I know that. But… but…. It hurts. I know that but it still hurts."

_Everyone… is gone. Everyone. Everything. They're all gone. I don't even remember most of the people I've loved. There are whole lives I've lived that I can no longer recall. Is there any point in remembering?_

"You can take it slowly. You have to heal."

"Heal? How many times do I have to heal? I don't want to do that anymore. As long as Naruto and Sakura grow up strong, what does it matter? As long as I fulfil my role, it should be fine."

"Of course it matters. Your happiness matters. Do you want to feel like this forever?"

"No! I have no choice! I have to be like this."

"You have a choice."

"… I'm tired. I'm sick of this. I'm tired of being human."

_Should I try again? Should I really try again? It's only been 5 years. Can I really try again? I've healed and broken, healed and broken. I've been saved so many times and killed so many times. I don't want this anymore._

"Who hurt you? Was it just him?"

He shook his head. "I… want this. But… I want to get this over with as fast as possible. I want to taste ice cream again."

"We can have ice cream when we get back to Konoha."

"I can't taste it. I can't taste anything."

"… Is that why you never eat?"

He nodded.

"It's not healthy."

"Do I look too thin to you?"

"… No."

"I eat just fine. It's just hard in front of others. I take a lot of time."

"Have you gotten it checked out?"

"I don't think anything can be done."

"We should get it checked just in case."

_I don't want a medical examination. I have no blood to draw and no organs. I don't want to explain myself._

"Maybe," he replied non-committedly.

"…"

Sasuke smiled. "I'm an idiot and a hypocrite. That never changes. I should cry a little more. Even though it's pointless."

"Do you feel better?"

"…"

"…"

"Say, Kakashi-sensei. Do you know anyone who is immortal?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm curious."

"… I don't know anyone who is but many have tried to achieve immortality. Orochimaru, one of the Sannin, has."

"What kind of immortality?"

"I don't know. But it was through very bloody means."

_Probably not true immortality. He's also not very old._

"Do you know of a way to kill someone for sure? Even if they claim to be immortal."

"An immortal is someone that can't be killed but I suppose they can be sealed away."

"What is the experience of being sealed away like?"

"I won't know."

"Are there any other ways?"

"You could summon the death god."

"What gods can you talk to?"

"The god of death, hunger, wind and lightning are the only ones I know."

"How do you talk to them?"

"You don't so much talk to them as you summon them."

"They're not sentient?"

"I think they are but these jutsu take your life in the middle of battle. You don't have a friendly chat with them."

"How do they kill you?"

"They usually eat your soul."

"What happens when they eat you?"

"I don't know."

_Maybe if I talk to older beings, they will know how to free me from this curse. I can't expect them to know how to kill me but they may know how to free me from my fate as a rival._

* * *

"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura greeted as Kakashi limped in.

"Good morning, everyone. Gato is dead."

Sasuke hadn't been expecting it so soon. "What?"

"Last night I went out and killed him. Do you mind?"

That night, Wave erupted in jubilant and riotous cheer at the news of Gato's death. His property was raided and anyone associated with him was mobbed to death. Team 7 participated in the rebuilding process. Naruto's orange clones were all over the town following Gato's death became a symbol of the town's rebuilding. While it helped, it didn't do much to soothe Naruto's hurt ego over how much better Sasuke had performed during the mission fights.

The bridge was complete in record time with clone manual labour. Tazuna named the bridge after Naruto but the other townsfolk decided to make a plaque in Kakashi's honour. Though he smiled and accepted, Team 7 could tell he wanted to die on the inside from all the unwanted attention.

They completed their mission and reported to the Hokage. After that little bit of excitement, the daily grind of training and missions resumed. Naruto's sense of inferiority caused him to be competitive which led to making rash decisions which led to subpar performance which led to more inferiority. He tried offering Naruto advice but Naruto just did the exact opposite and failed.

Sakura and Sasuke were helping Naruto back home after he walked a dog into a minefield.

_Should I do something about it? It's annoying… but this rivalry pushes Naruto's growth and will probably advance the plot. Even if I wanted to intervene, any overtures from me will be rejected. I'm sure he'll get over it eventually._

_But…_

"Why do you have to be so reckless?" Sakura scolded.

_I don't want to antagonise Naruto. I don't want to be the rival._

"Are you alright, Naruto?"

Even this annoyed Naruto and he pushed Sasuke away and growled at him.

"Sasuke! You-!"

Sakura smacked his head. "What's your problem? Sasuke-kun has been nothing but nice to you!"

"It's not my fault! He's always standing out and attracting attention!"

"That's because you're weak!"

Naruto flinched. "Sakura-chan?"

"Don't take it out on Sasuke-kun just because you can't even complete a D-rank mission properly! Straighten up! If you want to be Hokage, you should be able to walk dogs without getting explosive burns!"

Naruto looked away but Sasuke could see him grinding his teeth.

_This is going to make things worse._

"Naruto…"

Naruto glared at him.

_How do I say something that isn't going to be taken as demeaning?_

"I… My house is close. You can rest there. Later… we can go for ramen."

"… What?"

"Clans are given land to live in. My clan was no different. 30 residences, 14 shops, 8 administrative buildings, 19 public facilities and many more. They're all empty."

"Empty? Why are they empty?"

"My clan is dead."

"Dead? Why?"

"My brother killed them. 5 years… coming up to 6 years now. It's not just my parents. Other than him, I have no relatives within 5 generations. He'll likely come for me. I don't see how I stand a chance against him."

Naruto and Sakura were wide-eyed. Neither of them could find words.

"I live in a ghost town. It's empty and lonely. Do you want to come over?"

"Of course, we'll come over," Sakura said hurriedly. She turned to glare at Naruto. "Right, Naruto?"

Naruto's back straightened and he nodded. "Of course… I'll come."

Sasuke looked at Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei?"

A bird chirped overhead. Kakashi looked up. "… Sure."

The walk was silent. The walk through the streets was worse. Sasuke had never bothered to clean up. There were blood splatters and dried pools in the middle of the street. The chalk lines had long gone but police tape from the investigations remained. All the buildings showed signs of wear from lack of maintenance. He'd stripped them of their value and lived in a medium-sized house near the entrance.

He didn't take them there. Instead, he took them to the largest house.

"This is where my parents, brother and I used to live."

With a tug, the front door slid open and they were hit with a face of dust. Two rats scurried away. He walked them to the room where his parents were murdered. Their blood was still on the floor.

"This is where he killed my parents. This is where I found them along with my brother."

Kakashi clasped his hands together and closed his eyes out of respect. The other two followed.

"Itachi told me to kill him. He told me to get revenge. But killing him won't bring them back. I would be just as alone. I'm not that sort of person. If possible, I prefer not to fight." He turned to Naruto and stretched out his arm, palm facing up. "Can't we be friends?

Naruto looked at the bloodstains on the ground and back up at Sasuke. Sasuke smiled. Naruto stretched his arm out, slowly reaching out to Sasuke's and-

* * *

Sasuke opened his eyes to the ceiling of his library. His eyes drifted to the upper right corner of his vision. He was when he'd last slept.

_Are bonds meaningless in this world?_

He didn't move from the ground as he pondered.

_I could change Haku. But not Naruto. Why? Was Haku going to be converted anyway? Am I only allowed to facilitate character development that would already have happened?_

_Can I only form pre-approved relationships with pre-approved people?_

His breathing deepened and he suddenly shot up. He looked down at his trembling hands. He tried to form a fist but his hand were shaking too much. With this body, it took a little longer to identify this emotion. He brought his hand up to his face as his vision turned red.

_Wrath._

"Are you kidding me?" His voice trembled. "You prevent me from dying. You take away my body. Rob me of my taste. Force me to act out a false life and prevent me from forming any genuine relationships."

_If this is intentional, I will hunt them down and kill them._

His eyes widened. Just as quickly as the anger came, it evaporated and he sucked in a deep breath.

"Revenge? What was I thinking? It's not like me."

Fear.

_They control my body, relationships and actions. Are these emotions mine? What am I even? Am I real?_

_What is real?_

_Does it matter?_

He buried his face in his palms.

_A fake world. All the worlds are fake. And all of them are as real as any 'real world'. What does real even mean anyway? Does it matter? If nothing about me is my own. Being dropped into worlds, into specific times and locations. Was it my choice to save the world or was it some prophesied destiny?_

He collapsed back onto the ground and closed his eyes.

"Whatever."

_It isn't anything I haven't realised before. It's just more obvious and restrictive in this world than before. I can't even remember my 'original' world. Whether I was ever real or what that even means doesn't matter. Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change._

_Life is simple._

_I don't feel like moving. So I will not move._

_I don't feel like being alive right now._

He lay motionless for another 2 hours before Team 7 came to check on him. He got a scolding, Kakashi half-carried him to the mission and he managed to pull himself together enough to help paint the fence with Naruto's mocking, Sakura's fawning and Kakashi's concerned gaze.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes."

"What awakened your sharingan?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Nothing in particular?"

"Yes."

_Nothing has changed._

They got the dog walking mission. Naruto chose the biggest dog again. The dog chased him into the minefields. Naruto got burned badly and Sakura helped Sasuke carry him home. He carried Naruto's arm over one shoulder and read with another. Replaying the same bits was boring so he found himself reading while walking and doing missions.

"Why do you have to be so reckless?" Sakura scolded.

Naruto pouted.

"Next time, chose something that you can actually do!"

"But how do I improve?"

"It's not about improving! This is a mission! If you fail, Team 7 fails! It reflects badly on all of us! You can train later!"

Naruto grumbled. He wasn't changing. Sakura had scolded him on the same issue again and again.

In the background, Kakashi sighed. "Sakura has a point, you know. When we fail, Hokage-sama scolds me, not you. It's embarrassing."

Naruto let out a small growl.

_He's like a little kitten. A prickly, hissy kitten that tries to wrestle with tigers._

Thinking of antagonistic people as cute animals was a very great way to regulate his emotions, Sasuke found.

A bird chirped overhead. Kakashi looked up. "It's about time we ended today's session."

Naruto jumped away from Sasuke and clung more tightly to Sakura. "Sakura-chan! Can you help me go home?"

Sakura smacked and pushed him away. "I was going to but now there's no way!"

Sasuke began to walk away. Sakura called out to him.

"Sasuke-kun! Want to go grab a bite to eat?"

"No."

"How about we train together?"

"I'm going to read."

"We can read together. I won't interrupt you! Really!"

"That's what you said the last 7 times."

He could see Naruto getting riled up. "Sakura-chan! If you want to train, we can train together!"

"Shut up! Who would want to train with you?"

"I would if I were you, Sakura," Sasuke said. "Naruto is stronger than you."

Sakura grimaced.

Sasuke continued to walk away.

_Maybe I'll read fiction for a change._

On the way, he passed by two Sand ninja.

_They're young but they're around upper chuunin. How rare. Their outfits are also very distinctive. What are they doing here?_

They may as well have a giant exclamation mark over their heads.

_They're also heading towards Naruto… I really don't want to replay the last week…_

He sighed and stopped walking. He waited for half a minute before setting back off in Naruto's direction.

Sure enough, the boy was strangling Konohamaru.

"What are you doing?"

Everyone turned to face Sasuke. Sakura's face instantly turned to relief. The blonde girl with the fan blushed.

The boy glared. "This brat bumped into me. I'm just teaching him a lesson."

"You are ninja from Suna, right?"

"Yes. Are you blind, Konoha genin?"

"I see. You're a foreigner so you don't understand. In Konoha, bullying kids is generally considered a bad thing."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. You two seem pretty strong. Maybe I should call the Hokage for backup. Seeing as that's his grandson, I'm sure he'll be happy to help."

The boy dropped Konohamaru like he was burning. "Grandson?"

Naruto rushed forward to scoop him up. "Konohamaru! Are you alright?"

Sasuke met the boy's eyes. "Yes. His name is Sarutobi Konohamaru. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name, honoured guest?"

The boy pulled the bandaged baggage off his shoulder. "I hate smart-mouthed brats like you the most."

_Hmm… I can't think of a cute animal that looks like him… I can think of a few ugly ones though… no, the ariti is kinda cute. The face markings are similar enough._

The girl stepped back. "Are you planning on using Crow?"

"I'm just going to play a bit. Don't worry."

A voice emanated from the trees. "Kankuro. Stop it. You're an embarrassment to our village."

"G-Gaara…"

_I didn't detect him. Jounin? No, his level is much lower than Kankuro and the girl yet they're clearly afraid of him. Level isn't a complete indicator of combat strength but… either he has a special ability like a kekkei genkai, hiden ninjutsu or speciality jutsu that's often not represented in levels. Or he holds a lot of political power over them but that's not the vibe I'm getting._

Gaara looked down upon the two of them. "Why do you think we came all the way to Konoha?"

"They started it first."

"Shut up! I'll kill you."

The two of them started sweating. Kankuro laid out his hands pacifyingly. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. I'm really sorry so…"

Gaara turned to Team 7. "Sorry about that."

Gaara burst into sand and reformed in front of the two of them. "Let's go. We didn't come here to play."

They started to walk away but Sakura stepped forward.

"Wait."

"What is it?" The girl said.

"We're allied nations but ninja from Suna can't just walk into our village. State your purpose. Depending on your answer-"

The girl gave a harsh sigh. "You're really ignorant, aren't you?" She presented a card. "This is my permit. We came to take the chuunin exams."

"Chuunin exam?" Naruto asked. "What is that?"

Unable to stop himself, Sasuke facepalmed audibly. Tessenjutsu girl snorted in amusement.

_How does he not know that? Even if he doesn't pay attention in class, it's a big event with a tournament!_

Naruto whirled around to face Sasuke. He hid his hand before Naruto could see it. Behind, Gaara's eyes narrowed.

_Ah… I moved faster than the average genin. I hope he doesn't try to assassinate me while I'm reading._

"What is it, Sasuke?!"

"Nothing. To answer your question, it's the exam genin take to become chuunin."

Naruto grinned. "Really? Then I should try to take it!"

_Oh. Oh no. We're going to have to take it, won't we? There's no way Naruto's going to let this go and… we're going to have to fight the three Sand genin at some point._

Sasuke shrugged. "Ask Kakashi-sensei."

He returned home afterwards. The next day, Kakashi told them he'd recommended them for the chuunin exams and he got attacked by some non-descript Ame ninja. As it turned out, all of them got attacked by the same Ame ninja.

_Probably a test then. I don't want to be a chuunin… Less reading time and more away missions._

He slept and tried not showing up for the exams. As expected, it didn't work so he reluctantly showed up. They were stopped by two…

_Isn't that Izumo and Kotetsu? There's also a genjutsu… another test?_

Sasuke sighed. "Let's ignore them. We're going up."

The other two had already seen through the genjutsu to fool them into thinking it was the 3rd instead of the 2nd and followed him.

"Wait," Kotetsu said. "Where are you going?"

_I was going to let you continue this test…_

"Up."

"What for?"

"I appreciate the effort, but if you're going to transform, could you not use child versions of your adult selves? I see you all the time around the tower."

"What do you mean?"

Sakura undid the genjutsu. "This is what we meant. If this is all, we're going to the 3rd floor."

"Wait!" This time the interruption came from a boy with a bowl-cut and green jumpsuit. He walked up to Sakura. "My name is Rock Lee! You are Sakura-san, right?"

"Eh?"

Rock Lee smiled, his teeth white and shining. "Please go out with me! I'll protect you till my death!"

Sakura… was not enthused. "Absolutely not."

"Eh?"

"You're… too intense."

The immediate rejection hit Lee hard.

"You look like Might Guy," Sasuke said. "Are you related to him?"

Lee bounced back instantly. "Yes! He's my sensei. How do you know him?"

"He's listed in the bingo book. What's your speciality?"

_Lee's level is far too low for the chuunin exams but the levels are biased against taijutsu users and ninja who specialise instead of having a wider arsenal. His team has a Hyuuga on it as well. Guy is probably in charge of a taijutsu specialist team._

"Gathering information on your opponents? I'm not falling for that!"

"I see. Then I will see you around."

Unfortunately, while they were walking to the venue, Lee stopped them.

"Wait! Uchiha Sasuke!"

_He looked me up… what a pain._

"What business do you have with me?"

"Fight me! Now!"

"Why?"

"I want to see how effective my techniques are against the descendent of a clan of genius ninja."

_Troublesome._

"I'm honoured but I want to conserve my energy for the exam."

Naruto growled at him. "Are you running away, Sasuke?! Coward!"

_I hate dealing with taijutsu specialists… they're the worst if they're fast enough. My speed still sucks. If this Lee outclasses me far enough in speed, there's not much non-lethal damage I can do. If an opponent's speed is a lot faster than my casting time, even lethal AOE jutsu will do nothing._

"If you want to fight him, go ahead. He doesn't seem like a bad sparring partner."

Naruto pointed at Lee. "I'll teach you a lesson for trying to steal Sakura-chan!"

Naruto charged. With two swift moves, Lee dodged and kicked Naruto into the wall hard enough that he lost consciousness.

_My perception can keep up but I doubt this is all his speed._

"I apologise on behalf of my teammate. Attacking a fellow Konoha ninja is unbecoming."

"You can apologise by fighting me."

_He's not going to give it up, is he?_

"It seems as if I have no choice. But there's only half an hour left. I would like to keep it short. What sort of spar do you want?"

"What about until one of us surrenders?"

Sasuke put his hands on his swords, paused and then let them hang by his sides again.

"My taijutsu isn't very good but should we have a taijutsu match? I'm curious as to how good Might Guy's students are."

"No, please come with me with all you have."

"We're indoors. I can't use many ninjutsu. That's a fast track to getting kicked out of the exams."

This… apparently hadn't occurred to Lee, whose face sank. "I see! I completely forgot!"

_Single-minded._

"I'm not really against fighting you but-" _I am._ "- perhaps we should do it some other time."

Lee nodded. "Yes. I came here to test my ability. Next time, I expect you to give it your all!"

_Troublesome._

"I'm sure there are many other strong guys around."

"No, I have something to prove. I want to defeat the heir to the Uchiha clan!"

"Prove what? I'm not that strong. If you have a problem with clans, go and challenge Hyuuga Hiashi. He's the head of the Hyuuga clan and a master of taijutsu. A perfect opponent for you."

"I have a Hyuuga on my team. Hyuuga Neji is the genius of the Hyuuga clan. I am no match for him."

"Then what's the point in picking a fight with me? Go and beat him. Until you do that, will you really be proving anything to yourself? Aren't you just taking it out on me?"

"You're… not wrong. Perhaps I am taking it out on you." Lee clenched his fists. "But! Just because I can't beat Neji doesn't mean I can't beat a genius! Neji's speciality is against other taijutsu users! There is still worth in defeating you!"

_Genius… this again._

"I see. I wish you luck." In the back, Naruto stirred, rubbing his head. "Naruto, Sakura. Let us go."

Before they arrived at the examination hall, Kakashi stopped them and explained to them that the chuunin exams could only be entered in 3-man squads.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure if Sasuke or Sakura would've entered but… I'm glad you did. I'm very proud of all of you."

Sasuke shrunk into himself. "… Thank… you…"

Kakashi slapped him in the back. "Go on. Now that you're here, don't chicken out. I know the three of you can do it."

The first thing he tried to do when he entered the room was to scan the applicants for any distinct characters. This was disrupted by Ino running up to hug him from behind.

He just stopped short of stabbing her with a kunai. It was close. He stored the kunai back into his inventory. Everyone was watching but it wasn't unusual to have wrist seals that carried weapons.

"Sasuke-kun, you're late! I was waiting for you!"

Sakura growled.

_Annoying._

"Yamanaka-san. I would appreciate it if you let go."

Ino hugged him tighter. "Don't be so cold, Sasuke-kun."

"Get away from Sasuke-kun, Ino-buta!"

"Oh, if it isn't Sakura. You're as ugly as ever."

"What did you say?"

Ino stuck her tongue out. Sasuke pried her arm off him as her teammates strolled in.

"You guys are taking this troublesome exam as well?"

"Oh!" Naruto said. "It's the idiot trio!"

"Quit calling us that. This is troublesome enough…"

Team 8 also came to see the commotion. "All of us are here?" Kiba commented.

Shikamaru frowned. "You guys too? What is this?"

Kiba and Naruto bantered for a while before a 7th-time exam veteran, introducing himself as Yakushi Kabuto, stepped in to tell them to keep it down and offer advice on the chuunin exams. He tried to show them how tough it was going to be.

"7th time?" Sasuke commented. "This exam must be hard for medical ninja."

There was a slight twitch in Kabuto's hand. "Why… do you say that?"

_Your surname is 'Yaku-shi' (medicine-master) and the names in this world are not subtle. You can guess a lot of abilities by studying kanji, Shinto and Buddhism._

"No reason. Just an instinct."

_It won't do to announce his speciality to everyone. I can see why he'd want to hide such a rare skill._

Kabuto cleared his throat. "The purpose of this exam is to keep the power balance within countries and to show off their most elite genin. It won't be easy."

Naruto started trembling. He grinned. Turning towards everyone looking, he yelled. "You guys, lis-"

_He's going to challenge them!_

He put Naruto into a chokehold and pinned him to the ground before casting a mute jutsu. Naruto started banging the floor with his head and feet.

"If you damage the floor, they may kick us out."

Naruto stopped. Sasuke turned to the crowd and smiled. A few girls swooned. "Sorry. Our kitten isn't completely house trained."

Sakura whacked Naruto's head a few times. "Don't provoke people unnecessarily, idiot!"

Not long after, the first proctor Morino Ibiki arrived with a group of chuunin amidst a cloud of white smoke.

_Couldn't they have walked in? Drama queens._

The first exam was a paper test which immediately caused Naruto to freak out. The freak out only got worse when Ibiki started explaining the rules.

_All of us will fail if one gets 0? Maybe Naruto can get 1 point and Sakura and I get carry…_

Then he saw the test paper.

_Amazing. This level of analysis is expected of lower chuunin? My INT is a lot higher than average but this seems hard to me… Whatever. But I can't see Naruto getting any of this right... should I help him cheat?_

Sasuke focused on finishing his test before looking around the classroom, trying to think of a way to help Naruto who was getting more frantic with each moment.

Then he spotted Ino using the mind transfer jutsu on Sakura. He was sitting near the back and threw Ino a note.

_I'll go on a date with you if you cheat for Naruto. Tell him what's going on as well._

Upon reading it, Ino blushed and helped Naruto before any of her teammates.

_That should solve it._

The 45-minute mark came about and the rules about the tenth question were announced.

_That doesn't make any sense. How can they stop you from taking all chuunin exams? They can control Konoha ninja and Konoha exams but there are plenty of foreign ninja and other exams they have no control over. Why would they disadvantage Konoha? There's some kind of trick to it. Well, there's no way Naruto is failing and Ino can just help him again._

Many genin dropped out. But Sakura looked like she was going to raise her hand.

_Why- Naruto! She's worried about Naruto!_

He slammed his hand hard on the table. Everyone in the room jumped.

"What's wrong?"

"Sorry. There was a bug."

Shino glared at him. Sasuke made eye contact with Ino and looked between her and Sakura. When Sakura looked like she was about to raise her hand, Ino used the mind transfer jutsu to stop her.

_Crisis averted._

When Ibiki declared they'd all passed without even checking the paper, Sasuke groaned.

_It was all for nothing. Naruto would've passed on a blank paper._

Ibiki explained the purpose of the test and how it was to cheat.

_Well, I had that feeling with all the cheating but… it's still kind of disappointing. Am I too much of nerd?_

The moment he was done, a jounin flew through the window, thoroughly shattering it. She used kunai to pin a huge banner with her name on it to the walls.

"I am Mitarashi Anko! I'm the second examiner!"

_What's this? Are all jounin drama queens? Is it to establish branding? What's with ninja and a complete lack of regard for property and environmental damage?_

"The next exam will be tomorrow! Find the location and time out from your officer. Disperse!"


	3. Chapter 3

They gathered at the Forest of Death in the morning. Sasuke had refreshed his memory and re-read the bingo book along with any information he could find about the training ground and its wildlife.

Information on the examiner was plentiful. Mitarashi wasn't one to shy away from fame. She was a student of Orochimaru. Quick and sly. Any notes and warnings about the forest had been stripped for the exam and the Uchiha held no records he could find about Konoha training grounds, though he recalled passing mentions about its dangers. All he could do was read up on nature and animals.

_Hopefully, my encyclopaedia of random knowledge will come in handy. I don't spend 8 hours a day reading for nothing. Just in case, I brought all the relevant books I could find. I hope they don't get destroyed. Books are expensive._

He'd refurbished two houses to make way for his loving indexed library and spent a lot of money on books over the years. He'd had to invest to keep up with the expenditure. For some reason, the Uchiha cash reserves had been shockingly low and they'd had quite a few debts. They'd been stocking up on all manner of weapons, seals and other equipment instead. Many didn't dare collect from 7-year-old genocide victims, especially once he made the news reach the papers. A couple debt collectors got beaten up by vigilante ninja and some kind souls raised money to help him pay the debt.

He half-listened to the rules while thinking about where he should invest next. Survival test. Need two scrolls. Five days. May die. Super deadly… Maybe he could convince Kakashi to take a nice trip north for a book buying expedition?

Kakashi put a surprising amount of effort into making Sasuke smile. For all his flaws, he liked Kakashi.

Anko threw a kunai at Naruto when he got too loud and some Kusa genin tried to intimidate the examiner.

_We're definitely going to be fighting the Kusa genin, aren't we? Trigger happiness aside, they don't seem too bad. And we're going to have to fight Lee's team, the other rookies and the Suna team… what a pain. Some of them may be reserved for later rounds but we're in for at least 2 or 3 tough battles._

Sasuke was by far the best candidate to hold the scrolls given that he had an inventory. But Naruto would not stand for it, loudly shouting that he should get it. Pretty much everyone heard him.

Sasuke sighed and said loudly. "Fine. You can keep it."

Naruto cheered.

_Now people will think it's a bad bluff and suspect Naruto may not actually be thick as mince._

They handed in their death waivers and walked to their assigned gate. They got the Heaven's scroll. The test started shortly after and almost immediately, Naruto needed to go to the toilet.

"Naruto! What are you doing in front of a lady?! Go to the grass!" Sakura scolded.

"What are you talking about, Sakura? We should stick together."

"But, Sasuke-kun! That's unsightly and disgusting! A lady should never see-"

"Sakura. I don't understand you. Do you want to be a proper lady or a kunoichi? If you want to be a lady, quit the exams."

Sakura flinched. Naruto jumped to her defence. "How can you say that to Sakura-chan? She can be both!"

"A 'proper lady' as dictated by these societal norms should never engage in violence or 'uncouth' behaviours. That runs contradictory to activities ninja are expected to conduct regularly. She cannot uphold both ideals at once. It is my opinion that her sense of femininity should never exceed her duties as a kunoichi."

"… Huh?"

Sakura took a deep breath and clenched her fists. "It's fine, Naruto. Sasuke-kun is right. I am a kunoichi."

"But, Sakura-chan-"

"It's fine! Just… piss already!" She covered her eyes with her hands. "I don't have to look, right?"

_The two of them are too loud._

"Don't cover your eyes. Turn around and guard Naruto's back."

Sakura did so with a scarlet blush on her face.

Sasuke sighed."Dicks aren't that special. You should get desensitised to them. Buy a porn magazine or something."

"I can't do that!"

"Then don't be so distracted. I'll lend you anatomy books after this. As a kunoichi, that should be fine, right?"

_Great. That only made her more distract-_

He equipped kunai with an exploding tag and threw it at a ninja who'd just unveiled his presence to aim for Sakura. Unlike most tags, it wasn't timer-based and he maintained a thin string of chakra from his hand to the tag. The Ame ninja dodged and just as it passed him, Sasuke activated the tag.

To his credit, the ninja did not scream but he dropped like a rock as the right side of his face and torso was severely burned. Sasuke buried two volleys of shuriken into him as he tried to stand. One struck his eye, six were scattered between his shoulder and thighs, two pierced his hand and two stabbed his foot. While he stumbled, Sasuke kicked him in the head. His head slammed into the ground and bounced. The shuriken in his eye mangled the right side of his face. Sasuke pinned him to the ground.

Sakura gasped. "Sasuke-kun!"

Naruto turned around. "How could you do that?!"

"I saved Sakura's life. He could have teammates with him. If genin from the same village with the same scrolls collude, we could have a 2v1 or 3v1 battle." He looked Sakura squarely in the eye and pointed to Naruto's still unzipped pants. "Don't let your guard down over something silly like this."

He looked down at the Ame-nin and felt for a pulse.

_He's still alive. But unless his group has a medic, his chances of surviving 5 days in this forest are dicey. We're all genin. There may not be a single medic in the entire forest._

"Is he dead?" Sakura asked.

"Not yet."

Naruto finished zipping up his pants. "We have to get him to the hospital!"

"We can't leave. This is what it means to sign the death waiver."

"But…"

"None of us have the skills or medicine to cure him."

"There has to be something we can do for him!"

"Like?" He pointed at the shuriken buried in his eye. "What can you do about that? It's quite deep. A bandage and some ointment aren't going to cure that. Wounds aside, he can't cast jutsu or walk properly with his hand and foot injuries. His chances of survival are slim."

"But we can stop the bleeding, right?"

_Troublesome. If I don't do something, they'll hate me for it._

"I'll stop what bleeding I can. Guard me while I treat him."

"I will do it! I don't trust you!"

Sasuke brought out his medical equipment. "Can you use any of this?"

"Um…"

"It's through his eye. Move the wrong thing and he dies. Stand guard."

Naruto and Sakura flanked him with their kunai out while Sasuke did his best to cauterise all the blood vessels. The shuriken had pierced his brain. One on his chest slid between his ribs and pierced his lung. He'd been a doctor before and the design of this human body was typical. He'd brought the best medicine and surgical equipment he could get his hands on. He could hear Sakura trying not to puke in the background as the sounds and smells wafted through the forest.

He briefly felt someone watching before that feeling vanished. Half an hour later, the Ame-nin found them.

Sasuke didn't pause his work. "He's out of commission. You've failed. We have no reason to fight."

"We can see that," his teammates said. "But we can carry him to the tower for medical treatment."

"The shuriken pierced his brain and lung. We're quite far. He's only breathing because of my chakra. We will not make it. Do any of you know medical ninjutsu?"

"No. Do you?"

"No. Do not expect him to make it. I will try my best."

_The examiners should be monitoring all of us. If they haven't come to help him by now, they will not help him. I'll be giving away my surgical skills but whatever._

Under the sharp gaze of the Ame-nin, he put down his equipment two hours later.

"He's dead."

The two Ame-nin had been mentally preparing themselves for this outcome and showed only a narrowing of eyes. In comparison, Naruto and Sakura were far more distraught.

"Was there nothing else you could do?! You killed him, you bastard!" Naruto screamed.

At this, one of the Ame-nin let out bloodlust and threw a kunai at Naruto. "Shut up, you baby! This is ninja life! We all knew this was a possibility! Don't you dare insult Oboro's resolve! If you're not prepared to kill or be killed, what are you here for?!"

Naruto flinched.

"Can you give us the body?" The other nin asked. "We'll give you our scroll. We don't need it anymore."

Sasuke got up and stepped away from the body. They tossed him their scroll. It was another Heaven's scroll.

"Thank you." He stored it in his inventory.

His teammates sealed up the body and left.

"… Do we really have to kill each other?" Naruto said. "This isn't like Wave. This is just for some damned scroll."

"If you want to quit and hide somewhere, you can go do that. But all the chuunin exams I know of have this sort of situation. You'll just have to give up on being Hokage."

Naruto clenched his fists.

"Everyone here signed the death waiver. Everyone here passed the tenth question. This is their resolve. They're all ninja with more experience. If we don't fight to kill, we're not making it. I personally don't really care about anyone else. But I would hate to see the two of you die. For the two of you and Kakashi-sensei, I would slaughter everything in this forest."

He delivered this admission with no more gravitas than any other statement of fact. He'd never really examined his feelings for Team 7 but the words rang true to his ears. He'd grown fond of hissy kitten, needy kitten and drama kitten. The rest of humanity… he couldn't bring himself to feel much when he thought of them. He wasn't sure how much he liked his team but his feelings for them were greater than his feelings for the rest of humanity combined.

_But… is this affection of mine real?_

Whether real or fake, he was glad for them. Changing species was always the hardest part of transitioning. Humans were a social species that greatly valued family and blood bonds. Perhaps this was a sign he was becoming accustomed to having human nature.

Sakura blushed. Naruto crossed his arms and looked away. Sasuke pretended he'd said nothing. "Let's go. We still have a scroll to get."

Before they'd even taken a step, a wind jutsu barrelled into them, forcing them to scatter.

_This jutsu… the caster is already mid-chuunin level at least. If his team are at the same level, we're in trouble._

He managed to regroup with the two of them.

"Sakura, what happened in the last mission before the exam?"

"Naruto blew himself up by walking dogs into a minefield."

"Naruto, where did you wake me up?"

"Huh? What sort of question is that? How many times have I woken you up?"

Sasuke and Sakura attacked with shuriken instantly. 'Naruto' had no problem dodging everything and transformed back into the Kusa-nin.

"Not bad… for children." She took out her Earth scroll, showing it to them. "You want this, don't you?" She swallowed the scroll whole. "Let's kill each other."

She unreleased her bloodlust. Beside him, Sakura collapsed to her knees, tears running down her face.

_She didn't have this reaction during the Zabuza fight… Her bloodlust is greater than Zabuza and Kakashi's combined? This is bad._

"You still can move? That's good, Sasuke-kun."

_She knows my name. She is at least jounin or higher. Likely kage. After the sharingan? We need to run. But even without Sakura to carry, I doubt I'm fast enough._

"If it's just the scrolls you're after, we don't mind giving it to you."

"Giving up so soon? That's boring."

"If you're looking for a good fight, you're not going to find it here."

"If I want your life?"

"I'd have to resist."

_If I'm reading this right, she's not interested in Sakura or Naruto. I should get away from them. Losing my eyes… wait, can I even lose my eyes? Can any organs be extracted from this body? If I'm supposed to lose my eyes to her and go on a quest to get them back, that's impossible to clear._

She saw the fear in his eyes. "Finally giving up the tough guy act? Good. Prey should tremble in fear and run."

Her hand transformed into snakes and stretched out, attacking him. He turned his back and ran at full speed.

_Snakes? Kage-level? Ah, crap. Even if Kakashi were here, he's not sannin-level. No one but the Hokage can save us. The fact that I'm not dead yet… either he wants me alive or he's toying with me. Or both. I'm already dead. This is about gathering information._

He activated his sharingan and drew his swords, slicing through a few snakes. Orochimaru drew a sword out of his mouth and charged in.

_He should be able to move faster than this. He's testing me. Playing with me._

Once Orochimaru got bored of testing his kenjutsu, he started sprinting around, speeding up until he reached the edge of Sasuke's sharingan tracking capabilities

_No doubt about it. He waited until after my surgery to attack. He's interested in my capabilities. He wanted to see my skills._

Sasuke jumped about the forest, leaving random seals at every tree he landed on and stringing wire and chakra strings between trees. Orochimaru could identify what seals they were at a glance and knew which ones to avoid, trigger or ignore. The wire and strings posed no problem to the contortionist.

He changed the nature of the chakra strings to fire. The section of the forest they'd been fighting in exploded into flame with Orochimaru in the middle of it. He did not check to see if he was dead and ran but Orochimaru appeared in front of him, now without the transformation into the Kusa-nin.

"Good moves for someone so young. You are worse than Itachi at your age but who isn't?"

"How strong is he?"

"Curious? He's stronger than me. Now that the Sandaime has grown old, I imagine Itachi is stronger than even him."

_Seriously? A guy like that is my enemy?_

"How strong am I supposed to get? What a pain," he muttered.

"Do you want to beat Uchiha Itachi?"

"I don't see a viable way of doing so."

"A pragmatist, I see. If it's power you want, I have power."

"But you're weaker than Itachi, right?"

Orochimaru smiled. "For now. If you want power… come find me." His neck extended and bit Sasuke's neck.

' _This hurts quite a bit,'_ was his last thought before collapsing.

…

…

…

_**Power… power… power…** _

_**Don't you want more power?** _

_Is this… what did he do to me? Genjutsu? It doesn't look like it…_

A strange, bursting feeling spread out of his chest. Images of Kakashi being stabbed till there was no more flesh filled his vision. Naruto being bisected. Sakura being beheaded. The sides of his face heated and the heat travelled up and down his spine, consuming his body.

_Why are you showing this to me?_

_**Don't you want more power? Enough power to fight against the world? Enough power to curse those who have wronged you?** _

Suddenly, she was in her golden-green armour. Her son lay dead amongst the thunder clouds and her master's fate lay in the hands of the weavers.

_This isn't a genjutsu! It's a mental loop caused by a seal! This is bad! The worst-case scenario!_

Her chest expanded as she sucked in deep breaths of air. Her head felt light and her throat closed on her.

_What is this feeling?!_

She screamed as the feeling in her chest tightened. She panted. Her vision blurred. Her thoughts shattered and she dug into her cheeks with her nails.

_Is this… mania? Panic?!_

_**Don't you want more power? Enough power to fight against the gods? Enough power to destroy all those who put you in this position?** _

_Not particularly. I just want to die-_

_**But if you could, wouldn't you want them to suffer? It's hell, isn't it? They've robbed you of your loved ones, your free will, your world and everything in between.** _ _**You can't even tell which are your true emotions and which are fabricated. Aren't you angry? Don't you hate them? Don't you want to see them struggle?** _

"I-" For the first time in six years, the tears that ran down his face felt real. His nose was clogged up and he took deep breaths, choking. His long white hair streamed down his sides and flowed like silk. He grasped his shirt where he felt a beating heart behind his breast. When he bit his tongue, he tasted blood.

_I feel alive._

_**Don't you want this? Don't you want this? Don't you want this more than anything?** _

She smiled. "I don't know. How am I supposed to know? This isn't like me… but…"

_**Don't you want them to see them in pain?** _

"… Yes. I want them to pay. But… this feeling is… is it mine?"

_**Does it matter? Does logic mean anything to you?** _

_That… was right. Logic and reality? That's unlike me. What is me anyway? Does it matter? Every few centuries, I look back and see nothing of my current self. Who is me has changed so often it has no meaning._

_**That's right. Living doesn't make sense.** _

She wiped away some of her tears and snot. "It has no intrinsic value. It's a game we can quit anytime… in theory. To take that from me… to take that from me…!"

She giggled. Chuckled. Laughed. Bellowed.

"I want this. I want this. I want any and everything. I want love. I want hate. I want to tear down the world. I don't care if this isn't real. I don't care if I'm being used and abused. I want them to suffer. There is no true me! So what if this desire for revenge is fabricated! So what if I'm a cog in someone else's scheme! My time is infinite. Nothing has changed _and goddamn it I want EVERYONE TO SUFFER!"_

The spell broke and the false world shattered around him. A searing pain snaked up the side of his body.

He turned to the right. Everyone was staring at the malicious chakra flowing out of him with apprehension. A group of Sound ninja, Lee on the ground, Team 10 shaking their legs, Lee's teammates up in the trees, Naruto unconscious and…

His eyes zeroed in on Sakura. Her arms were cut up and her face was bashed in.

_**It made him unreasonably furious.** _

He walked over to her. Knelt in front of her. Smoothed her roughly cut hair back and gently touched her bruises.

He smiled. "Sakura. I'm fresh out of patience. There will be no surgery. Tell me who I have to kill."

Sakura's body trembled. She took a deep breath and steeled her nerve.

She uttered their death sentences with complete conviction.

"The Sound genin. Ino is in the girl."

He stood up and gave her a head pat that transformed into a forehead poke.

"Thank you, Sakura. After this, let's train together."

He drew his swords and crouched down. Before the Sound boys could ready their attacks, he launched forward and beheaded them. He turned towards the girl Ino inhabited. She yelped and released her jutsu. He stabbed her through the heart.

_This seal is quite strong. I don't see how this means I can beat Itachi though. Orochimaru has other plans for me._

He looked down at the dead bodies curiously.

_I feel… good. There's… a fire. Something. Within me. For the first time in a while. Is this what it means to be human?_

He sheathed his swords. "Does anyone need urgent medical attention?"

No one replied.

"Sakura, how are you?"

"Cuts on my arms and severe bruising on my face."

"How is Naruto?"

"Unconscious but he seems fine."

"I see. Then help me check the bodies for any scrolls."

Shaking, Sakura stood up and rummaged through the bodies.

He found nothing of interest on the Sound girl. He took her equipment and set her body on fire.

"Sasuke-kun! What are you doing?!" Ino cried. "That's somebody's corpse!"

"Unless the body is ash, it's not dead. I will not condone any threats to the safety of my team."

"I found it, Sasuke-kun." Sakura held up the Earth scroll. Sasuke walked over and put it in his pack before storing it in his inventory.

Ino turned to Sakura. "Sakura! Tell him to stop!"

Sakura looked away. "Sasuke-kun… isn't wrong. I am weak. I couldn't protect the two of them."

"It's not your fault! No one could've-"

"Sasuke-kun did! Even Naruto could've come up with something!" She pointed at the bodies. "There are jutsu out there that can fake death. I've seen it! Their master is someone who could survive being hit with that hellfire! I am not putting Naruto and Sasuke-kun in danger! I refuse to be that pathetic little lady ever again!"

Sakura glared at Ino as Sasuke set the other two genin on fire. He turned his attention to the other Konoha genin around him.

"Sakura. Did these people help you?"

"Yes. Lee jumped in front of me to protect me. After that, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji came as well. If not for them, I would be dead."

"I see." He turned his body towards Lee and started towards him. His teammates jumped in front of him, combat stances at the ready.

"Will Lee-san be alright?"

"Yes. He just needs to rest."

"He will be able to fight?"

"Yes."

_These three are strong enough to get a scroll themselves._

He turned his head to Team 10. "What scroll do you have?"

"Why do you ask?" Shikamaru said.

"We have a spare. You risked your life to protect Sakura. Words cannot express my deep gratitude. If you would accept it, I would happy to give you the extra."

"Why don't you give it to the other team?"

"Anyone from Lee-san's team can solo all three of you… in a straight fight. And they're not idiots. They will be fine."

He was indirectly calling them weak and they knew it. While all of them cringed, none of them were proud enough to refuse the offer.

"We have the Earth scroll."

"I see." Sasuke walked over to Naruto's body.

Naruto woke up screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

_That loudness of his is dangerous._

Naruto looked around frantically. "Everyone, hide!" He lay down on his front. "Where is he?!"

"Don't worry, Naruto. The enemies have been dispatched."

Naruto spotted the burning bodies. "That…"

"They tried to kill Sakura."

"Did you really need to kill them?"

"They are the subordinates of the snake man who attacked us earlier. He said he would come back for me. Do you want to fight all four of them at once? What will you do if Sakura dies?"

The reassurance calmed Naruto down a bit. He walked up to Naruto and hugged him.

"Anyone who tries to kill Sakura needs to die," he whispered into his ear. "You understand that much, right?"

"Sasuke…"

He stepped back, half-surprised the world didn't reset. "The Sound genin had an Earth scroll. Team 10 risked their lives to save us. We should give our extra to them."

"Ye-Yeah." Naruto pulled out the scroll from his pack. "Here."

Ino took the scroll. "Th-thank you."

Lee started to wake, pushing himself off the ground. Disoriented he looked around. "This…"

"I took care of the enemies. How are you feeling, Lee-san?"

Lee looked down. "I see… I'm fine."

Tenten crossed her arms. "Fine? Why did you do something so reckless?"

"Sakura-san was in danger so… as a man…"

"You're an idiot." Tenten scolded.

"I… have nothing to say to that."

"What is bushy brows doing here?!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sakura punched him in the face. "Don't be so rude to Lee-san! He saved my life!"

Naruto flew a good distance away.

_Did her strength increase a bit? She even reinforced her fist with chakra… could she do that before?_

Sakura turned to Lee. "Lee-san. Thank you. Thanks to you, I have found new resolve." She smiled. "I shall train even harder than before."

Lee sniffled and his eyes teared with emotion. "Sakura-san… it seems my efforts weren't enough." He turned towards Sasuke before looking down. "Sasuke-kun… as expected of the Uchiha clan. To beat them, you must possess amazing strength. I was completely beaten."

_Amazing strength… is it? Strength is relative…_

Sasuke rubbed his shoulder. It stung a little. "If you want to protect our Sakura to the death, the least you can do is beat Kakashi-sensei once or twice. Any less than that is insufficient."

Sakura stared at him as if he'd grown another head. "Sasuke… kun?"

Sasuke looked her in the eye. "It shames me to admit but I am currently more of a danger to you than a help. I'll explain later. But if you want to follow Team 7, that level of strength is the minimum. What are you going to do?"

"Is that even possible?"

"It's possible," he stated. There was not a trace of doubt in his voice. "Can you do that?"

She put her hand over her heart and clenched her fist. "I am no liar. I will do it."

Sasuke bowed to Lee. "I look forward to seeing the fruits of your labour. You have my thanks for saving Sakura."

Lee was taken aback. "N-no, it was my honour." He gave his sparkling grin. "I look forward to sparring with you after this."

Sasuke extended his arm. "Friends?"

Lee took it. "Of course!"

And the world did not reset.

They shook on it. Sasuke helped him up.

"You are a good guy, Sasuke-kun."

"Really? I like people like you. The world needs more earnest people. Your will is one to be admired." _At a distance. When they start trying to convert you, it gets annoying quick._

Meanwhile, Naruto had just about recovered from Sakura's punch and was staring at the whole affair with a wide-open jaw.

"Wh-what happened…?"

Sakura crossed her arms. "Lee-san saved our lives. That's what happened."

"We should head to the tower. I'll give Sakura a haircut once she's healed."

Ino raised her eyebrows. "You know how to give girls haircuts?"

"I was a barber for some time in another life."

Sakura smirked. "Sasuke-kun is a multi-talented guy. He knows everything from optimal dog-walking strategy to surgery."

Shikamaru groaned. "This again? He always has his nose in a book. It'd be odder if he didn't know a lot of things."

Ino and Sakura turned their twin glares towards Shikamaru who backed away slightly.

"Troublesome women," he muttered under his breath.

Sasuke started walking towards the tower. "Don't expect anything too amazing. I'm not a celebrity stylist or anything. Let's go."

_I've also never cut human hair before… or maybe I have? It's hard to remember… Well, there are no semi-aquatic reptiles involved so it should be fine._

They were attacked by two teams. Sakura was in too poor a shape but Naruto and Sasuke handled them easy. Naruto, in particular, was eager to fight and beat them.

_I should really kill them but I don't think either of them would approve… Caring about people from those types of cultures is always tiring._

They opened the two scrolls in the tower and Iruka popped out, elaborating and explaining about chuunin and their role. Sasuke was a little distracted by the pulsing feeling in his neck.

_This seal is annoying. I should report to Kakashi quickly._

They were not allowed to leave the tower but Kakashi got special permission to see them. He walked into their assigned room while Sasuke was cutting Sakura's hair.

"Good afternoon, my cute little genin."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto and Sakura cried.

"Good after- Sakura, don't move. If you want to keep your length, I don't have much to work with."

Kakashi leaned in to look at his work. "Sasuke… you brought hair cutting tools?"

"I bring a minimum of eight kitchen sinks with me when I leave the house."

_Thank god for nestling doll inventories. And being rich. Storage scrolls, I love you and I never want to live in a world without you or an equivalent._

"When did you find the time to learn how to cut hair?"

"Time travel. It's a pretty cool power when not accompanied by unwilling immortality. You should try it sometime."

Kakashi squinted.

"I'm not a genjutsu or elaborate clone." He pointed at the seal on his neck. "This thing does weird things to my mind. When I'm not on guard, stuff like that slips out a lot easier."

Naruto nodded. "That's right, Kakashi-sensei. Isn't it creepy? Sasuke is actually _normal_ now."

"What are you talking about? 'Normal' is completely dependent on context, cultural norms and biological imperatives. There is quite a wide range of normal and the ninja standard of normal is very forgiving. In fact, I believe you fall further from the center of that ninja range than I do. I am completely normal. All of you are the weird alien humans."

"… Ummmm…" Naruto crossed his arms and tilted his head. "I take back what I said about you being normal. You are still pretty weird."

"Coming from you, I take that as the highest compliment."

"What did you say?!"

Kakashi restrained Naruto with a palm to the head. "Hmm… for once, Naruto has a point. We need to return Sasuke to normal."

"For once?!"

"But I haven't finished cutting Sakura's hair."

"Sakura's hair can wait _after_ we seal off your curse mark. Come on."

Sasuke put away his scissors and comb. "Sorry, Sakura. I'll finish later."

Even Sakura seemed weirded out by him. "It's… um… not a big deal. That mark takes priority. Don't worry about it."

Sasuke followed Kakashi out of the room.

"What happened?"

"Orochimaru came after me. He was testing my capabilities. He liked me and gave me this seal. Told me to find him if I wanted power."

"Did you tell Naruto and Sakura about this?"

"Yes. I also told them about the seal and my clan." He put his hand over the mark. "I suspect I would've died if I hadn't… succumbed to…"

_Ah… is that how it is? Curse this impossible game._

"What's wrong?"

"… Say, Kakashi-sensei. When we first met, you asked me what my dream was. What did you think it would be?"

"I imagined you'd want to kill your brother. Uchiha are famed for holding incredible grudges. You are quite unusual."

Sasuke gave a frustrated growl.

_I'm supposed to join Orochimaru and go on a quest for revenge, ain't I?_

"Sasuke, no matter what happens, don't follow Orochimaru. Nothing good will come of it."

"I may have no choice."

"I will protect you with my life."

"But you can't beat Orochimaru. Even amongst S-class ninja, he's on a different level. Aside from the Hokage and other Sannin, I don't imagine anything can protect me."

Kakashi's hand twitched. Sasuke wrapped his hands around Kakashi's.

"You are my favourite person in this world, Kakashi. If you have to choose between fighting Orochimaru and giving me up, leave me."

"I can't do that."

"But it's not like you can stop-"

"I will never do that."

_Is Kakashi supposed to give his life for mine? If that's supposed to happen, can I even stop a big event like that?_

Sasuke looked away.

_If that's the case… I have no choice. I'll have to do what I can to break this narrative._

"You still have Naruto and Sakura to protect. I will be fine."

Kakashi's hand tightened around his. He placed his other hand over top of Sasuke's. "Sasuke. I will never abandon you."

_You don't understand, Kakashi. One of my lives is disposable and of little meaning. I don't mind throwing it away._

_But… even if I explained my pain with words… would these people with extremely limited lifespans understand? They'd probably still demand I live. Kakashi can conceptually understand the pain but he can't comprehend it._

He tried anyway.

"When your time on this earth is limited, it becomes precious. The more limited, the more precious. When you only live for 80 years, it becomes worth more than anything. Throwing it away is unthinkable. To sloth is to sin. Something must be wrong if you want to die. But when time is an effectively infinite resource… nothing really matters. There's no urgency to do anything."

"What… do you mean?"

"To me, Kakashi-sensei is like a rare, limited edition collector's figure is what I mean to say. It is a form of preciousness that cannot be captured when time is infinite. If you die, I can't bring… you… back…"

_No, there may actually be a way. I still haven't figured out the death policy. Minor, largely unnamed characters are disposable but no one close to Naruto's heart has actually died. It could be that death is permanent but rare and impactful. If that's the case, the mentor is in quite a lot of danger. To become Hokage, Naruto clearly needs to surpass Kakashi's power level which would likely render Kakashi obsolete in end game fights. When that happens, narratively speaking, Kakashi's death is more powerful than his life._

_This means my time limit to prevent likely mentor death is before Naruto surpasses him._

"Life is a complete pain," he muttered.

Kakashi spent a few moments thinking through his words and came to the wrong conclusion. "Never try to chase eternal life or resurrection, Sasuke. That path is bloody and there's no coming back."

"Hmm? Oh, you don't have to worry about that. That will never happen ever. Life is pointless with a revolving door and immortality is not all it's hyped up to be. If you die, I will do everything in my power to make sure you stay dead. There's not much I can do if the world is conspiring to bring you back to life though."

"… Thank you?"

"No problem."

Kakashi brought him to a room within the tower and started painting the necessary seal pattern on the floor and his body with blood.

"This seal will stop the mentally and physically corrosive aspects of the curse mark of heaven but it relies on your will. If you want to use the seal, it's ineffective."

_Convenient… wait…_

"Mentally corrosive?"

"Yes. It eats away at your physical and spiritual chakra."

"How exactly does it mentally corrode?"

"You'll have to ask Mitarashi Anko, the second examiner. She also has one and was Orochimaru's student."

_Mentally corrosive. Mentally corrosive. Mentally corrosive. Are the effects permanent or limited to this life or body? My behaviour and feelings have changed noticeably and I have a lot less control over my thoughts and speech. With such a drastic change, I'm inclined to believe it's limited to this lifetime. I'm far less calculative in my decisions. My existing affections have been amplified and my memory and attachment to past selves are a little more blurry._

_Is this why I feel so alive?_

_If that's the case…_

_Is it even a bad thing?_

Kakashi completed the hand seals. "Don't worry, Sasuke. Everything will be fine as long as your will stays strong."

_That's the part I'm worried about. It's a little difficult to have iron-clad convictions when you've changed universe, species, religion and affiliation so many times you can't remember._

The sealing as about as pleasant as being skewered by three cursed 6Exx swords. By far the worst pain he'd experienced in this life. It was in these moments that he was glad for this artificial body. Human brains weren't that great at taking pain.

Kakashi examined the seal. "Did it work?"

Sasuke rolled his shoulder and nodded. "Probably. It hurt quite a bit. I imagine most people would pass out."

"I expected you too."

Sasuke flexed his fingers and frowned. "I actually rather like the curse mark."

"What?"

"Not using but… how do I put it… I feel more human. No, that gives the wrong implication… not human in the sense of being part of the wider community of humans but… it's difficult to explain. Let's just say I feel closer to the people I do actually like. Namely the three of you."

"How did you feel before?"

"You were fluffy and cute kittens. You know like the neighbourhood cats you feed and throw dead bugs at to play with them?"

"I… don't."

"But now… it's more like… you're my kitty. But a bit more than that. Something like that."

"…"

"Don't look at me. I don't exactly understand it either." _Figuring out human emotions without the usual bodily symptoms is surprisingly hard. Have I ever been a human in a game setting? Hmm… the answer as always is probably but I don't remember. I still don't understand why my body is so different. This usually doesn't happen._

With only one eye visible, it could be hard to see Kakashi's expression but he seemed kind of sad. "… You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"No. I've only known you for a year…" He tilted his head. "Actually, is a year a long time? Long is another relative term." _Scaling time significance is hard._

"Do you trust me?"

"Depends on what you mean. I trust you to not kill me and to protect me. I believe that meets regular ninja requirements of trust. I truly believe you're looking out for me and care for me. But I'm not sure I trust you not to sell me to Konoha."

"Sell you?"

"If Konoha told you to torture me, would you? In this particular situation, I pose no threat to Konoha but have potentially advantageous information. Since I'm the last… well, most accessible sharingan user, kidnap and rape is a strong possibility as well."

"If you pose no danger to anyone, I would refuse. Even if it means becoming a traitor. If you become someone like Orochimaru, it can't be helped but I will do everything I can to raise and protect you."

_He doesn't seem like he's lying… He's a really sweet person and he's not ashamed of it. I like that type._

"That's reassuring." Sasuke smiled. A wide, beautiful smile. "I… am not a kind person. I am not a compassionate person. Frankly speaking, I could not care less for the human species. To those people whose faces I do not know and will never meet, their lives don't matter. But for you… for the three of you, I will burn down the world. I will draw my sword and skewer every last being with a pulse. Of course, out of consideration for your sensibilities, I will refrain from doing so. Will you still protect something like me?"

Kakashi's eye closed for a moment. He seemed even sadder. He placed his hand on Sasuke's head and rubbed gently. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing you can fix. I don't know how to say it but I feel very alive now. Don't worry. I was always like this. I'm just now saying it." He tapped the curse mark. "It's a bit like being drunk. I like it."

"I'm not sure whether _I_ like it."

"Do you have a way of removing it?"

"No."

"Then whether you like it or not doesn't really change anything." He stood up. "Shall we go? I need to cut Sakura's hair."

_This isn't the first time I've declared revenge. This isn't the first time I've healed, been manipulated or been revived. It won't be the last._

_But…_

_Today, I feel like healing._

_If tomorrow I break,_

_that's tomorrow's problem._

Was that human?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super stuck on ch4. Not sure I want to continue writing this story.

**Author's Note:**

> It is unlikely this work will ever be completed. I will write until I am bored of the concept. You have been warned.


End file.
